391. I know my patterns so why am I still doing it?391. I know my patterns so why am I still doing it?
How I quit alcohol
Danni Carr talks through why people repeat old drinking patterns even when they recognise their triggers, using Dr Rick Hanson’s stages of change as a guide. She shares practical tools, gentle humour and a slow-and-steady approach to turning awareness into lasting behavioural change.
18:51•23 Oct 2026
Why You Still Repeat Old Patterns Even When You Know Them
Episode Overview
- Awareness of your patterns is only one stage of change; you still need tools, practice and support to respond differently.
- Change moves through four stages, from unconscious habits to new responses becoming automatic and natural.
- Building a practical toolbox – such as breathing exercises, journalling, and planned responses – makes it easier to handle triggers.
- Celebrating small wins and reflecting on them helps reinforce new neural pathways and speeds up long-term change.
- Slowing down through mindfulness, meditation or similar practices allows you to notice triggers, nervous system responses and choices in real time.
“"Change takes a long time. Just knowing something doesn’t mean that the change is going to happen."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This episode finds Danni Carr flying solo, tackling a familiar frustration: "I know my patterns, so why am I still doing it?" If you've ever sworn off alcohol, spotted your triggers a mile away, and still ended up with a drink in your hand, you'll feel very seen here. Danni breaks down why awareness alone isn’t enough, using psychologist and Buddhist teacher Dr Rick Hanson’s four stages of growth and change.
She walks through the shift from being on autopilot with booze (or people-pleasing, defensiveness and overcommitting) to gradually building real skills and eventually reaching a place where healthier choices feel natural. As she puts it, "change takes a long time" and needs "a lot of thoughtfulness, mindfulness, and a lot of practice".
Using a funny yet spot-on driving metaphor (including Melbourne hook turns and getting lost in Sydney tunnels), she explains why knowing the ‘controls’ doesn’t mean you’re ready for the fast lane. You’ll hear how the limbic system can hijack you, why repetition matters, and how celebrating even small wins helps rewire the brain for long-term change.
The episode also stretches beyond alcohol into everyday habits: snapping at loved ones, saying yes when you mean no, or feeling guilty for setting boundaries. Danni highlights practical tools like journalling after a slip, planning your responses in advance, breathing practices, mindfulness, yoga, qigong and working with coaches or therapists. She keeps coming back to one central theme: slowing down so you can notice your triggers and responses in real time.
If you’re stuck in that maddening loop of “I knew better but did it anyway”, this conversation offers reassurance, structure and some very down-to-earth humour. What small practice could you start today to turn your awareness into genuine change?
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