425 Raising the Bottom: How to Stop Drinking Before You Hit Rock Bottom425 Raising the Bottom: How to Stop Drinking Before You Hit Rock Bottom
The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
Host Arlina Allen and guest Sonia Kahlon talk through Step One of the 12 steps, focusing on powerlessness, unmanageability and emotional bottoms. Their chat questions the idea of rock bottom and looks at how high-functioning drinkers can choose to stop before losing everything.
53:05•9 Apr 2026
Raising the Bottom: Rethinking Step One Before Life Falls Apart
Episode Overview
- Rock bottom does not need to be a total life collapse; raising the bottom can save years of suffering.
- Powerlessness in Step One refers to alcohol specifically, not every area of life.
- A person can look successful on the outside and still be at an emotional bottom, feeling hopeless and suicidal.
- Sobriety and recovery are different; you can be abstinent from alcohol yet still be emotionally unwell without ongoing inner work.
- Finding meetings and sponsors that fit your personality and values is key, and simply showing up and listening is a meaningful form of service.
“"You don't have to crash and burn and lose everything and go to jail and hurt yourself or somebody else to decide that I need help."”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol before everything falls apart? This conversation between host Arlina Allen and guest Sonia Kahlon zooms in on Step One of the 12 steps and challenges the old stereotype that you have to lose your job, family, and freedom before you "qualify" for help. Sonia has nearly nine years of sobriety, yet has never formally worked the steps.
Sonia admits she used to think, "These people aren't for me," because from the outside her life looked great – good marriage, career, house, even a holiday home – but inside, she says, "I wanted to die." Together, they break down what powerlessness and unmanageability actually mean in practical terms: daily promises not to drink that crumble by lunchtime, work hangovers, and that maddening cycle where "when she enjoyed drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." They also talk about emotional bottoms, the idea of "raising the bottom" to avoid those final years of chaos, and the difference between being sober and being genuinely recovered.
With Arlina as her guide, she starts Step One using *The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics*, tackling a lot of the usual objections: the God language, the word "powerless", and the belief that AA is only for people at a very low rock bottom. You’ll hear honest chat about AA meetings, drunkologues, and why some long-term sober people are still "batshit crazy" if they stop doing the inner work.
Arlina offers a kinder lens on shame, values, and learning to "love your unlovable parts," while Sonia reflects on what emotional sobriety looks like for her now – sometimes involving nothing more glamorous than Netflix, pizza, and calling a friend. If you’ve ever thought, "I haven’t lost everything, so it can’t be that bad," this step-by-step conversation might have you asking a different question: how low do you really want your bottom to be?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.