453 When My Father Became My Dealer: Lisa Arrigo on Trauma, Secrets and Recovery453 When My Father Became My Dealer: Lisa Arrigo on Trauma, Secrets and Recovery
The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
Lisa Arrigo shares her experience of childhood trauma, cocaine addiction, having her father as her dealer and relapsing after 22 years clean, while reassuring expectant mums about stress in pregnancy. The conversation focuses on realistic self-care, recovery tools and how trauma and addiction treatment can work together.
49:04•22 Oct 2026
When My Dad Was My Dealer: Lisa Arrigo on Stress, Secrets and Staying Sober
Episode Overview
- Babies are highly resilient, and everyday stress in pregnancy does not automatically harm their future mental health.
- Aim for being a "good enough" mum rather than chasing perfection, which only adds extra pressure and guilt.
- Start self-care with tiny, manageable steps – like drinking more water, breathing exercises or a quiet cup of tea – especially when you don’t feel worthy of it.
- Trauma work and 12-step recovery can complement each other, but deep trauma processing is best delayed until early sobriety is more stable.
- Finding a therapist who understands addiction and trauma is crucial, and it’s okay to ask direct questions to see if they’re the right fit.
“Every stress, every source of tension you feel is an invitation to work with yourself, to reach out, to not be alone in a scary big feeling like you were when you were a kid.”
How do people find hope in the darkest times? This conversation with Lisa Arrigo gives a raw look at addiction, relapse, motherhood worries and the messy truth about learning to care for yourself. Lisa, a licensed clinical social worker, trauma-informed therapist and woman in long-term recovery from cocaine addiction, returns to clear up a viral clip that left expectant mums terrified that their stress might "doom" their babies.
She explains why "fetuses are extremely resilient" and reinforces the idea of being a "good enough mum" instead of chasing impossible perfection. For anyone panicking about stress during pregnancy, her reassurance and humour feel like a deep breath of relief. From there, Lisa opens up about growing up in a chaotic Italian family, becoming the family’s secret-keeper, developing an eating disorder at 12, and later finding cocaine in college.
One of the most shocking parts of her story is when she shares that her father became her dealer: "I didn’t know at the time that my father was the biggest cocaine dealer in Westchester County." Her honesty highlights how secrets, shame and family dynamics can fuel addiction. You’ll also hear her reflections on 12-step recovery, why some people struggle with language like "powerlessness", and how trauma and addiction can collide.
She talks frankly about relapsing after 22 years clean, linking it to neglecting self-care and unaddressed trauma, and stresses how tiny daily actions – drinking water, breathing exercises, journaling, community – slowly rewire the brain. This episode speaks to pregnant women, people in recovery, those who’ve relapsed, and anyone wrestling with feeling "unworthy" of self-care. It’s gentle, honest, and full of practical ideas for stressful days.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing "enough" for yourself or your family, this story might be the reminder you’ve been waiting for.
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.