469- Spencer T Al-Anon Part 2: It's About Making it Right469- Spencer T Al-Anon Part 2: It's About Making it Right
Sober Speak- Alcoholics Anonymous Recovery Interviews
John M talks with Al‑Anon member Spencer T about what it means to truly "make it right," from strained family relationships to frightening debt. The conversation focuses on amends, fear, and relying on a higher power to create lasting change rather than simple apologies.
1:04:53•9 Oct 2026
Making It Right: Spencer T on Amends, Estrangement and Money
Episode Overview
- An amend is about making things right through real change, not just saying sorry.
- When people don’t want contact, amends can become "living amends" through changed behaviour and service.
- Parents may never fully repair past harm, but steady, healthy presence and honesty can still be part of amends.
- Financial amends include both paying down debt and transforming spending habits with the help of a higher power.
- Working all twelve steps, rather than just attending meetings, is presented as crucial for deep spiritual and practical change.
“If you look at the word amend, it's not apologize, okay? An apology is not an amend. An amend is making it right or making it better, making a change.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation between John M and long-time Al‑Anon member Spencer T offers a thoughtful look at what "making it right" really means, especially for families affected by alcoholism. Spencer has 24 years in Al‑Anon and hosts The Recovery Show, but here he focuses less on podcasting and more on the messy business of amends.
He draws a sharp line between saying sorry and genuine repair, noting, "If you look at the word amend, it's not apologize… An amend is making it right or making it better, making a change." For anyone wrestling with step 8 and 9, you'll hear practical examples rather than theory. You’ll get honest talk about estrangement: what happens when the people someone has harmed simply don’t want contact, and how "living amends" become the only path forward.
Spencer shares how he tries to make amends to his children and others he can no longer reach directly, including offering a stable presence to teens at his church. Money gets its own spotlight too. Spencer describes running up frightening levels of credit card debt and the paralysing fear that made him avoid bank balances and bills.
He explains how financial amends to himself and his family meant both paying down debt and changing spending habits, backed by constant reliance on a higher power rather than sheer willpower. Threaded through all this is the idea of a "God-shaped hole" that someone tried to fill with people, money and control, and how working all the steps—not just attending meetings—shifted their relationships, finances and inner peace.
The tone stays warm, occasionally funny, and very human, making this episode a good fit if you’re dealing with family fallout from alcoholism, tough amends, or money shame and want to hear how someone else has walked through it. Where might you be mixing up apologies with real change in your own recovery?
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