6 Years 359 days - Fucked Up Fridays6 Years 359 days - Fucked Up Fridays
I'm Quitting Alcohol
Comedian David Boyle shares a listener’s graphic, darkly funny tale of alcohol-fuelled basement living, work bathroom shame and an unexpected HR firing. The episode mixes raw honesty about serious alcohol abuse and depression with Boyle’s harsh but appreciative comedic commentary.
16:07•8 May 2026
Fucked Up Fridays: Basement Hangovers, Bathroom Lows and a Surprise Sacking
Episode Overview
- Shows how "serious alcohol abuse and depression" can turn everyday life into a cycle of hangovers, shame and self-loathing.
- Highlights the grim reality of using alcohol to cope with heartbreak and a dead-end cubicle job.
- Uses graphic, dark humour to describe bathroom behaviour as an "all-time low moment" during heavy drinking.
- Illustrates how chaotic choices at rock bottom can have unexpected consequences for others at work.
- Reinforces the podcast’s style of mixing sobriety themes with brutal honesty and sharp, unapologetic comedy.
“And that's the story of how I got someone fired because I masturbated at work.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This short, chaotic episode of **I'm Quitting Alcohol** leans hard into the struggles, using dark humour and a brutally honest listener story to show just how messy life with alcohol can get. Comedian David Boyle kicks off chatting about his improv classes and his obsession with the stock "iron" signing a deal with Nvidia.
He jokes through the market swings and his plans to "ride iron to wherever it goes", setting a loose, ranty tone before shifting into his weekly feature, **Fucked Up Friday**. This week’s story comes from Ryan in Rochester, New York, whom Boyle affectionately labels "Fucking Fryzy rhyzy" and later calls "a very good writer".
Ryan paints a graphic picture of 2010: heartbreak, moving back into his mum’s basement at 28, a soul-sucking cubicle job, and what he repeatedly calls "a weird time" of "serious alcohol abuse and depression". His daily routine swings between crying in his car and being so hungover he spends lunch breaks vomiting or shaking in the office bathroom.
The story reaches its lowest point in a cubicle-stall scene of beer-fuelled bowel issues, forced vomiting, and then, as Ryan says, "an all-time low moment" when he masturbates at work while sitting over a toilet full of faeces and vomit. The punchline?
HR later investigates bathroom activity, and through a twist involving co-worker Adrian and office fling Sarah, Ryan concludes: "And that's the story of how I got someone fired because I masturbated at work." Boyle revels in the writing, saying, "I could feel how much of a disgusting, pathetic loser you were... I fucking loved it." It’s crude, raw, and very funny, yet anyone who’s lived through booze-soaked chaos might quietly recognise the self-loathing underneath.
If you like recovery talk served with savage humour and zero gloss, this one’s for you. How low did alcohol take you, and are you ready to laugh at it yet?
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