613: Quitting Alcohol For Good! (TAKES TIME AND....)613: Quitting Alcohol For Good! (TAKES TIME AND....)
Real Recovery Talk
Tom and Ben talk through why quitting alcohol and drugs often takes much longer than families expect and why progress can feel painfully slow. They outline six key reasons for this and share practical ways families can respond more effectively while caring for themselves.
57:14•7 Aug 2026
Quitting Alcohol Takes Time: Why Slow Progress Can Still Be Real Recovery
Episode Overview
- Progress in sobriety is often slow and steady, and longer-term care usually leads to more stable recovery.
- People in active addiction may genuinely not see the problem as clearly as their families do, because their brains and environments normalise use.
- Substances often function as quick fixes for anxiety, depression and stress, so recovery needs new coping tools, not just abstinence.
- Repeatedly rescuing a loved one with money, housing or legal help can unintentionally keep their addiction going.
- Families benefit from having a clear plan ready so they can act quickly when a loved one has a brief window of willingness to get help.
“"For addicts and alcoholics, drinking a bottle of Jim Beam is just like taking a multivitamin. It’s just what we do."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This Real Recovery Talk episode zooms in on one core message: quitting alcohol for good takes time, and rushing the process can backfire.
Tom and Ben speak directly to family members and loved ones who are watching someone drink or use and wondering, "Why can't they just stop?" You’ll hear them break down six reasons progress can be slow, starting with the idea that the person using "may not see the problem the way that you do." Ben shares how heroin use once felt as ordinary as "taking a multivitamin," showing just how hijacked an addicted brain can become.
They explain that drugs and alcohol still serve a purpose for the person using, often acting as an "external solution to an internal problem" like anxiety, depression or loneliness. The conversation tackles common family instincts too. Providing money, housing or constant rescue might feel loving, but Tom points out that this can quietly "sponsor" someone’s addiction and make the cycle easier to continue.
They also talk about how change is frightening: when someone has spent years drinking or using, the idea of life without substances can feel like losing their main coping tool, even when the consequences are piling up. Tom and Ben stress that consequences such as job loss, health scares or legal trouble don’t automatically equal readiness for recovery.
Motivation can show up one day and disappear the next, which is why they urge families to have a rough plan ready for the moment a loved one says, "I need help." Along the way, they highlight how families themselves need support and structure so their lives stop being controlled by someone else’s addiction. If you’re tired of feeling stuck and confused around a loved one’s drinking or drug use, could changing your response be the first real step forward?
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