A roller-coaster of emotion—Borderline Personality DisorderA roller-coaster of emotion—Borderline Personality Disorder
All In The Mind
Gabby was on an emotional roller-coaster, feeling empty and needy. After lashing out in anger, she’d regret it and say sorry over and over again. Her partner, Eliza, felt like she was walking on eggshells, always fearful of arousing Gabby’s intense emotions. Gabby was diagnosed with the highly stigmatised Borderline Personality Disorder. They share their journey together to a calmer and happier life. ** Trigger warning: please note that this interview contains references to self-harm, abuse, and violence**
29:05•6 Oct 2019
Borderline Personality Disorder: Love, Stigma and Skills That Change Everything
Episode Overview
- BPD is described as a complex and distressing condition involving emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, chronic emptiness and impulsive behaviour.
- Gabby’s story highlights how trauma and repeated invalidation, alongside family mental illness, were part of a long path to finally receiving an accurate BPD diagnosis.
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy group work helped Gabby name emotions, ride out intense feelings and dramatically reduce hair‑trigger reactions and self-loathing.
- Eliza’s experience shows that partners can feel constantly on edge, and that carers’ programs like Family Connections offer vital understanding, skills and support.
- Both Gabby and Dr Nazo stress that people with BPD are not manipulative and, with appropriate treatment and effort, can reach remission and lead meaningful, productive lives.
“"You can live a great life. You really can. If you step through the door and get the help you need, I promise you putting the work in is worth every step of it."”
What drives someone to seek a life without constant emotional chaos? This episode of All In The Mind follows Gabby and her partner Eliza as they talk openly about living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition described here as both "complex and distressing" and heavily stigmatised, even within mental health services. You’ll hear Gabby trace her history of being labelled an "angry kid" through years of misdiagnoses, trauma, and finally a BPD diagnosis she initially rejected.
She talks frankly about intense anger, self-directed aggression, feeling like a "soda bottle" ready to burst, and the exhausting cycle of rage followed by the "cleanup crew" of apologies. Her story is raw but grounded in hard-won skills and change. Eliza offers the partner’s perspective: living with unpredictable reactions, "walking on eggshells", and learning when care can quietly slide into unhealthy enabling.
She shares how a carers’ program, Family Connections, gave her tools, community, and the reminder that she also has to look after herself. Psychiatrist Dr Maria Nazo steps in to clearly explain the core features of BPD – emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, chronic emptiness, self-loathing and impulsive behaviour – and firmly challenges the old idea that people with BPD are just being manipulative.
She stresses that evidence-based therapies like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can lead to remission and far more stable, meaningful lives. Gabby credits her 20‑week DBT group with "absolutely chang[ing] my life", learning to name emotions, ride out intense feelings and reduce the hair-trigger reactions that once ruled her days. Eliza describes the change as "mind-blowingly different" while still recognising the same person underneath.
This episode speaks directly to anyone living with BPD, their partners, families, and professionals who want a clearer, more compassionate understanding of the condition. If BPD has touched your life in any way, could this honest conversation be the reassurance and perspective you’ve been needing?
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