Becoming a Believer

Becoming a Believer

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation on Addict II Athlete brings together recovery, faith, identity, and ultra running in a way that feels raw, honest and surprisingly funny at times. Coach Blu Robinson sits down with team captain, ultra runner, minister, therapist and dad, Heath McDougal‑Deans.

Heath talks through growing up in a religious home, knowing he was gay from a young age, and carrying a secret that felt, in his words, “like something I was taking to the grave.” Alcohol and drugs became a way to switch off the constant fear of rejection, and his story moves through homelessness, crack and meth use, multiple jail stays and the heartbreak of trying to be a good father while lost in addiction.

One line that sticks is Heath recalling, “There are no such thing as victims, only survivors,” a mindset shift that helped him stop sitting in the “muck and mire” and start rebuilding. He shares how a powerful spiritual experience in jail, memorising articles of faith, and hearing the phrase “son, follow your heart” helped him become, quite literally, a believer again.

You’ll hear how he and his husband Josh rebuilt their lives in rural Utah, how a tiny church bulletin that read “no matter who you are or where you are in life’s journey, you are welcome here” changed everything, and how they ended up gaining custody and later adopting children despite serious criminal histories. The episode also leans into movement as medicine: Heath’s leap from chaos into 50‑mile ultramarathons, erasing and replacing old pain with finish lines and team camaraderie.

He talks about staying present, saying if you sit in the past “you’re going to be depressed,” and if you live in the future “you’re going to have a lot of anxiety,” so recovery becomes about “staying in today”. If you’ve ever felt you don’t belong—because of addiction, sexuality, faith doubts or all three—this story might be the nudge that helps you ask: what if you’re a survivor too?