Ben R. Age 25 Sober since: 5/17/15

Ben R. Age 25 Sober since: 5/17/15

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Mike S. and 25-year-old Ben R. offers a candid look at what recovery can look like when it starts before you even turn 21. Ben shares what it means to be, as he puts it, “of that class of Alcoholics who've never had a legal drink,” getting sober at 20 after years of escalating use from weed and Percocets to heroin.

Ben describes being “obsessed with finding a girl” and needing someone to complete him, only to have a new sponsor tell him bluntly, “Ben, you've absolutely nothing to offer a girl right now… your dad's money doesn't count.” When Ben panics about missing “the girl of my dreams” in the first year, the sponsor replies that he should pray not to meet her, because “the girl of your dreams does not want the person you are right now.” That tough love pushes Ben towards learning to “date himself”: concerts, travel with sober friends, and choosing activities he genuinely enjoys.

He talks about growing up as a social chameleon, doing whatever it took to fit in, from stealing cars drunk at 14 to being the guy who always brought the drugs, and how that same shape-shifting carried into early sobriety with fake day counts and half-hearted attempts at recovery. Dating and relationships are a huge theme.

You’ll also hear about family interventions carried out by friends high on coke, the strange comfort of Suboxone-fuelled ‘control’, and the turning point of a four-step inventory that exposed core fears of being “fundamentally unlovable” and “not taken care of.” Ben explains how that work reshaped his perspective, his career in finance, and his relationships with his parents and brothers, all while keeping his sobriety front and centre.

If you’re thinking about getting sober young—or wondering if you’re really the “victim” in your story—could Ben’s experience be the mirror you need?