Big Book Study: Accessing the Consciousness of God (Part 14 of 15)

Big Book Study: Accessing the Consciousness of God (Part 14 of 15)

What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? In this Big Book study session from 2009, Ray C shares raw, funny, and deeply honest experiences of chronic relapse, spiritual awakening, and learning what it really means to access "the consciousness of God" through Alcoholics Anonymous. Ray talks openly about being a "chronic, chronic relapser," hiding his using while still collecting sobriety coins, and feeling sure he was destined to be "one of those guys coming in and out of rooms" forever.

The turning point comes when another member, Chris S, sits him down and clearly explains alcoholism and grace. As Ray recalls, "What matters is your connection to God," not the date on your last drink. You’ll hear how resentment nearly killed his sobriety, and how working the steps — especially the resentment inventory and amends — shifted his entire outlook.

He admits, "I have absolutely no power to stop drinking if I have resentments on me… it is life or death for me to not have resentments." Through vivid stories, like making amends to a neighbour whose garden he destroyed with illegal truckloads of dirt, Ray shows how step work brought him out of self-centred fear and into genuine freedom.

Ray also describes being humbled by cancer, how illness deepened his faith, and why he now sees working with others as a direct way to tap into God’s power: "Another way, if you want to access the power of God, work with others." His style is direct, humorous, and completely down-to-earth, making spiritual concepts feel practical for anyone wrestling with relapse, resentment or doubt.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’ve "ruined" your chance at a spiritual connection, this talk might make you question that belief and consider picking up the Big Book — and the steps — with fresh willingness.