Breaking Barriers: Exploring Psychedelics and the New Frontiers of RecoveryBreaking Barriers: Exploring Psychedelics and the New Frontiers of Recovery
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks with Todd Belfer about how guided MDMA and ketamine sessions affected his long-term sobriety after his son’s death. The discussion focuses on grief, ego, and whether psychedelics can sit alongside traditional recovery tools without leading to relapse.
57:46•11 Jun 2024
Breaking Barriers in Sobriety: Todd Belfer on Grief, Psychedelics and Healing
Episode Overview
- Psychedelics in recovery should be considered only after solid sober time and with professional guidance, not as a quick fix or party drug.
- MDMA and ketamine sessions helped Todd connect with his son spiritually and temporarily set aside overwhelming trauma and ego-driven self-blame.
- Psychedelic journeys can be emotionally intense, sometimes bringing years of shame and guilt to the surface before any relief is felt.
- Open disclosure to sponsors and trusted peers is crucial; hiding psychedelic use only increases shame and confusion.
- Todd’s experience suggests that combining 12-step work, therapy, meditation and carefully guided psychedelics may offer new options for people facing severe grief and PTSD.
“Life is only your thoughts. That's all life is. Your reality is what you make of it, is what you're experiencing in your thoughts.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This conversation between host Tim Westbrook and long-time sober guest Todd Belfer focuses on grief, psychedelics, and what recovery can look like after unimaginable loss. Todd shares how 25 years of abstinence-based sobriety were shaken when his son Grayson died by suicide.
Once firmly against any mind-altering substance, Todd describes seeing psychedelics as "breaking my sobriety" and fearing they would send him back to crack and meth, echoing concerns from people in his recovery circle. Yet the pain was so intense that he eventually agreed to guided MDMA and ketamine sessions facilitated by his ex-wife Julie.
He explains how MDMA felt like "a loving, healing, warm blanket" and allowed him to "check the trauma in the car" and connect with Grayson on a spiritual level. One ketamine journey forced him to confront a lifetime of shame and self-blame; he remembers screaming "I'm done" as years of guilt and control issues surfaced. Another powerful moment came through hypnotherapy, where he says he experienced being with God and felt physical pain returning to his body.
Todd is clear that he doesn’t recommend psychedelics for people brand new to sobriety, and stresses professional guidance, disclosure to a sponsor, and avoiding party-style use. For him, these journeys sit alongside 12-step work, meditation and therapy, helping separate ego from what he now sees as his "eternal" self and giving him enough relief to get out of bed, go to yoga and stay engaged in life.
If you’re sober and wrestling with grief, trauma, or depression, this episode offers a candid look at one man’s experience with psychedelic-assisted healing—without pretending it’s easy or right for everyone. Could hearing Todd’s story help you ask new questions about your own path to recovery?
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