Chad P “Current Experience with Step 1” 04-29-26Chad P “Current Experience with Step 1” 04-29-26
Mad Dog Recovery AA Speakers
Chad Payne shares his current view of Step 1 after 23 years sober, stressing powerlessness, loss of control, and the risks of complacency in long-term recovery. His talk focuses on how forgetting you’re an addict can happen even while sober, and why revisiting the basics of the 12 steps still matters.
56:41•21 May 2026
Chad P on Step 1: Forgetting You’re an Addict Even While You’re Sober
Episode Overview
- Step 1 is about fully conceding to being an addict, shown through actions rather than claims or good intentions.
- Real addicts have both a physical loss of control once they start using and a mental obsession that leads them back to the first drink or drug when sober.
- The "gifts of sobriety" can create a dangerous belief that someone is now like other people and no longer needs consistent step work.
- Busy, successful lives can crowd out spiritual practice, inventory, and helping others, allowing untreated addiction to resurface in subtle ways.
- Revisiting Step 1 with hard questions about dishonesty, fear, resentment and unmanageability can reawaken the urgency to work all 12 steps seriously.
“Step one doesn’t say don’t drink. Step one says you can’t not drink. You’re powerless over the first drink.”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety after decades clean? This talk from the Mad Dog Recovery AA Speakers series features Chad Payne (often introduced as Chad P), who shares his "current experience with Step 1" at 23 years sober – and he doesn’t sugar-coat a thing.
Speaking to a Spirituality Ignited Cocaine Anonymous group, Chad talks straight about being the kind of addict who can "burn my life to the ground and hurt a lot of people without ever putting any substance into my system." He contrasts people who seem able to coast in recovery with those, like him, who need a consistently intense 12-step practice just to stay sane and sober. You’ll hear him unpack what Step 1 really means beyond "just don’t drink".
For Chad, it’s a "full concession" to being an addict – something you can see in a person’s actions, not just in what they claim. He uses vivid stories from his meth-using past, including stealing from his grandma while she was in a nursing home, to underline the loss of control that defines his addiction. The heart of his message is aimed at people who are already sober but quietly struggling.
Chad talks about the "gifts of sobriety" – jobs, families, respect – and how they can create a dangerous delusion that someone is now "like other people" and doesn’t need to work the steps as hard. He offers sharp self-check questions he’s using as he goes back through the steps again after many years, exposing where he’s been coasting, hiding, or going mechanical with prayer, inventory, and sponsorship.
With a mix of honesty, humour and big-book references, this share speaks directly to anyone wondering: have I started to forget I’m an addict, even while I’m still sober?
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