Change and Growth Through Understanding & PreparationChange and Growth Through Understanding & Preparation
A Quest for Well-Being
Valeria Teles and J. Reed Durand talk about change, self-mastery and holistic health, drawing on wisdom from philosophy, psychology and military experience. The conversation looks at how accepting change, clarifying purpose and caring for body and mind can support more resilient and meaningful growth.
1:02:24•9 Oct 2026
Change, Self-Mastery and Finding Contentment with J. Reed Durand
Episode Overview
- Change is constant, and resisting it often increases suffering, while accepting it can open paths to growth.
- Focus on what you can control—thoughts, choices and actions—and recognise the limits of your influence.
- Start with self-awareness and values before designing big transformation plans or lifestyle overhauls.
- Holistic health, including good sleep, nutrition, mental and spiritual care, is vital for sustainable change.
- Contentment and a sense of meaning may be more realistic and satisfying goals than chasing "happiness".
“Change is inevitable. It's part of life.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and wider well-being? This conversation between host Valeria Teles and change practitioner J. Reed Durand zeroes in on one of life’s few guarantees: change. Drawing on 40 years of leadership experience in the U.S. Army, Reed shares how he went from 17-year-old private to chief information officer, and how that journey shaped his practical framework for self-mastery and personal growth.
You’ll hear them unpack the difference between everyday change and full-on transformation, touching on ideas from Buddhism, Stoicism, Lao Tzu and Viktor Frankl. Reed explains why fighting change leads to suffering, and why starting with "what can I actually control—my thoughts, choices, and actions" is far more useful than trying to control the whole world. His comment that "change is inevitable" sits alongside Valeria’s deep focus on ending suffering and living with more joy and peace.
The episode looks at resilience in the face of selfishness, injustice and emotional pain, with Reed offering a grounded way to respond: know your limits of control and influence, drop unhelpful judgements, and re-centre on purpose and values. He also brings in holistic health ideas from army doctrine—mental, physical, spiritual health, nutrition and, crucially, sleep. As he puts it, the brain needs sleep, and without it long-term change is much harder to sustain.
Reed’s "Train to Change" series and the idea of starting with self-awareness before detailed planning will appeal to anyone trying to change their relationship with alcohol, stress or old patterns without burning out. The tone is warm, practical and philosophical all at once, with light humour balancing some very serious themes. If change feels scary or exhausting, could a small, realistic shift in how you think about it be the first step towards more freedom and contentment?
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