Cindy Payne's Nugget -Healing from CPTSD
Cindy Payne's Nugget -Healing from CPTSD

Recovery Nuggets Podcast

Therapist Cindy Payne talks with David Clement about healing from complex PTSD while becoming alcohol‑free, touching on attachment, EMDR, somatic work and people‑pleasing. The conversation focuses on honesty, compassion and boundaries as key parts of long‑term recovery.

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40:29•19 Apr 2026

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Healing CPTSD, People‑Pleasing and Shame with Cindy Payne

Episode Overview

Alcohol can mask deep trauma and shame, but continued use may clash with living in line with personal and professional values.
Complex PTSD often roots in early family experiences, shaping perfectionism, people‑pleasing and a sense of being “othered.”
EMDR and somatic work focus on how trauma is stored in the body, helping shift limiting beliefs from the “bottom up.”
Attachment styles formed in childhood can drive adult relationship patterns, anxiety and fear of rejection, but they can change over time.
Honesty, genuine self‑compassion and clear boundaries are presented as core pillars for sustainable recovery and healthier relationships.

“A boundary is the proximity at which I can love and accept and respect myself and you simultaneously.”

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol when they’re also carrying complex trauma? Recovery Nuggets brings together host David Clement and therapist Cindy Payne for a candid chat about CPTSD, sobriety, and the messy, human work of healing. Cindy, nearly four years alcohol-free, talks about her first drink at 13 and how alcohol once “quieted the noise” of a chaotic childhood, including being raised by her grandparents while her mother lived with serious mental illness.

She shares the moment she realised she couldn’t keep drinking and still ethically support clients who are “survivors of complex trauma,” saying she could no longer “be doing the thing that was adding fuel to the very fire that is complex trauma.” You’ll hear how online meetings, yoga, hiking, meditation and journaling have supported her sobriety, and why she still respects 12‑step traditions while also wanting more spiritually aligned spaces.

The conversation moves into attachment styles, EMDR, and somatic work, with Cindy explaining how trauma sits in the body and why “we need to be kind of working with complex trauma from the bottom up versus the top down approach.” High‑performing women stuck in perfectionism, people‑pleasing and fawning will likely see themselves in her stories.

She breaks down anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment, and links anxiety with shame and early “there’s something wrong with me” narratives that can still drive adult relationships. David adds his own experience of shame, divorce, meditation, and learning compassion, creating a warm back‑and‑forth that many in recovery will relate to. Cindy rounds things off with three big “recovery nuggets”: radical honesty, real self‑compassion, and boundary work as the foundations for sustainable healing from both substances and harmful relationship patterns.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between who you are and who you act like to keep the peace, this conversation might give you plenty to chew on. What old stories about yourself are you still carrying that might be ready to soften?

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