CLASSICS REVISITED: Speaking Up the Compassionate WayCLASSICS REVISITED: Speaking Up the Compassionate Way
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Laurie, Dominique and Kayla talk about how families can address troubling behaviour around substance use without attacking or ignoring it. They outline CRAFT-based communication tools that focus on calm, clear observations, personal boundaries and long-term change.
34:09•2 Oct 2026
Speaking Up Without Blowing Up: The CRAFT Way to Tough Conversations
Episode Overview
- Address difficult issues by describing specific behaviours, not accusing or guessing about substance use.
- Speak in a short, calm, and neutral way, then step back rather than pushing for explanations or confessions.
- Make statements about your own experience and boundaries, emphasising how the behaviour affects you.
- Avoid important conversations when your loved one is high, and prioritise safety for everyone in the home.
- Accept that change is usually slow and focus on consistently using CRAFT skills instead of expecting immediate results.
“The only goal that we have in these moments is to speak our truth in a positive, calm and thoughtful way.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation on "Coming Up for Air" zeroes in on one of the trickiest skills families need: speaking up about substance use without blowing things up or pretending nothing is wrong. Laurie Mcdougal, Dominique Simone Levine and Kayla Solomon chat through what "non-confrontational" really means within the CRAFT approach. They push back on the idea that kindness equals silence.
As Laurie puts it, non-confrontational does *not* mean "you just kind of tiptoe around the elephant and you just leave the elephant in the room and nobody says anything." Instead, you'll hear them break down practical ways to address worrying behaviour calmly and clearly.
They contrast grilling questions like "Are you drinking?" with more neutral observations such as "I notice you're spending a lot of time in your room, are you okay?" Kayla stresses that conversations should focus on what you actually see, not your assumptions about why: "Anytime you add your interpretation in...
that makes people angry." The hosts share personal stories that make the tools feel real, including Dominique telling a contractor, "I'm 28 years in recovery from alcohol and I can't have the smell in my house," and then simply stopping there. That "less is more" approach is a recurring theme: keep it short, specific, about your own experience, and then step back without chasing a confession or instant change. There’s also a strong reminder that your needs matter too.
Kayla describes telling clients, "I'm a therapist second to being a human being that has needs," reinforcing that family members deserve safety and respect while supporting someone who is struggling. If you're caught between shouting and saying nothing, this episode offers a middle path built on intention, calm, and dignity for both you and your loved one. Could changing just one sentence in your next difficult conversation start to shift the whole dynamic?
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