Codependency and Tribalism

Codependency and Tribalism

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety when their whole culture has trained them to think one way? This Pathway session takes that question head-on, as Wendell talks honestly about codependency, tribalism, and how both can quietly run the show in recovery and faith.

Wendell starts with funny, down-to-earth stories about "nose blind" dirty bedrooms and Crowder peas pretending to be green beans, then uses them to show how easily people get used to what’s familiar, even when it isn’t healthy. From strict rules about jewellery, dancing and alcohol, to church policies that refused membership to smokers or drinkers but ignored other harms, he paints a vivid picture of a religious culture that shaped his thinking for years.

He’s blunt about his own history: spiritual and emotional abuse, addiction to food and work, struggles with pornography, alcohol and depression, and getting "kicked out" of his denomination for riding horses with moonshiners, meth makers and other so‑called "undesirables". Yet those same relationships, plus friends from Celebrate Recovery – including lesbians who "played huge parts in my recovery, in the name of Jesus" – challenged his old tribal loyalties.

The heart of the talk is cultural codependency: being so tied to a group that "the group we belong to… dictates the way we think". Wendell invites people to test their tribes – "If you don’t think your church is a cult, just try to leave" – and to risk honest conversations with those who think very differently, without trying to fix or convert them.

This is aimed at anyone in recovery who senses their upbringing, politics or church still has its claws in their mind and wants more honest, grace‑filled relationships. It’s raw, funny, Jesus‑centred and quietly challenging. Who might you talk to – or gently question inside yourself – if you stopped letting your tribe call all the shots?