Common Misconceptions About Therapy w/Patrick Fagan 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️Common Misconceptions About Therapy w/Patrick Fagan 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️
At The CCC
Hosts Anthony, Jordan and Loui chat with queer therapist Patrick Fagan about common myths around therapy, especially for people in recovery. They discuss stigma, relationships, sex, shame and practical ways to find mental health support that feels safe and affirming.
33:52•28 Jul 2026
Common Therapy Myths in Queer Recovery with Patrick Fagan
Episode Overview
- Therapists are not all-knowing experts; meaningful work begins when clients feel safe enough to share what is really going on.
- Stigma in families, culture and queer spaces can make talking about difficult feelings or seeking therapy feel wrong or embarrassing.
- Asking for help – even with simple tasks like loading a dishwasher – can expose shame, but speaking openly often makes that shame fade.
- People and relationships are constantly changing, and avoiding honest conversations about sex, roles and shifting needs can lead to disconnection.
- Access to mental health care can depend on factors like insurance and income, but options such as sliding-scale services and word-of-mouth referrals do exist.
“The misconception is that I know a lot… I don’t know what’s going on with the person until they share it with me.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction and then gone on to sit in the therapist’s chair? This chat at The Castro Country Club brings together Anthony, Jordan and Loui with guest therapist and gay man Patrick Fagan to untangle some of the most common myths about therapy, especially for queer folks in recovery.
Right from the start, you’ll hear how informal and playful the vibe is – think jokes about “doing this for fun and for free” alongside serious talk about fear, shame and asking for help. Patrick shares how he shifted from big corporate branding work into becoming a therapist, while staying rooted in the Castro’s queer and kink communities. One of his key points?
“The misconception is that I know a lot… I don’t know what’s going on with the person until they share it with me.” The conversation spends plenty of time on why therapy can feel so intimidating. Patrick and the hosts talk about stigma in families, queer culture’s “we just want to have fun” image, and the way substances often become a shortcut for changing how we feel instead of talking about what hurts.
They also joke about dishwashers and stun guns to show how basic life skills and intimacy can feel deeply embarrassing after years lost to addiction. Relationships and sex come under the microscope too: from porn-driven expectations to roles like top, bottom or verse, and how hard it can be to say, “Sex doesn’t feel good between us anymore.” Patrick stresses that people and relationships are constantly changing, and that silence around those changes often leads to disconnection.
For anyone queer, curious about therapy, or stuck between meetings and mental health support, this conversation gently points toward practical first steps: ask friends for recommendations, look for low-cost options, and, above all, find a space where you feel safe rather than judged. What might change for you if asking for help felt just as normal as going to a meeting?
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