The Committee in Our Head: The Critic w/ Patrick Fagan 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️The Committee in Our Head: The Critic w/ Patrick Fagan 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️
At The CCC
Anthony, Jordan, Lewis and guest Patrick talk about the inner critic as part of the "committee in our head", linking it to shame, protection and recovery. The conversation blends humour with candid reflections on how to move from harsh self-judgment towards kinder, more freeing ways of thinking.
35:07•3 Aug 2026
Taming the Inner Critic with Queer Recovery Wisdom at The CCC
Episode Overview
- The inner critic often begins as a protective voice but can grow into harsh, constant self-blame.
- Painful events are real, yet the added suffering often comes from how we interpret and judge those experiences.
- Seeing critical thoughts as information rather than verdicts can create space to respond differently.
- Sharing honestly with someone about discomfort and shame can reduce the critic’s power.
- Recovery tools, including meetings and a concept of a loving higher power, help replace negative internal commentary with kinder voices.
“When there’s a disturbance anywhere, the disturbance is in me… and that gives me agency and power over it.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This chat at The Castro Country Club brings together Anthony, Jordan, Lewis and returning guest Patrick Fagan for a funny, honest look at "the committee in our head" – specifically, that relentless inner critic. You’ll hear the gang kick off with playful banter, hugs gone wrong and donut jokes, then slide into a surprisingly raw conversation about self‑blame, shame and the stories many people in recovery carry about themselves.
Patrick frames the critic as a voice that often began as protection in childhood, then got distorted over time, turning into "you're an idiot" or "you're bad" whenever tough feelings show up. Anthony pushes back on the idea that painful experiences are simply “in your head”, stressing that trauma and hurt are real, while the inner critic is the part that adds a second layer of suffering.
Lewis talks about retreating when his critic gets loud and how recovery helped him want "the louder voice to be my higher power" instead of the negative commentary. Jordan raises the question of whether the critic can sometimes be motivating, and the group wrestles with that messy overlap between helpful self‑assessment and outright self‑sabotage. Together they touch on crying at work, patriarchy, microaggressions, and who actually gets to fall apart without consequences.
Practical ideas come through too: noticing the critic as "data" rather than a verdict, slowing down instead of reacting, and, as Patrick puts it, sharing honestly with someone because “that doesn’t cost anything in time or money, only in vulnerability.” If your head can feel like a hostile committee meeting, this queer recovery conversation might help you ask: whose voice are you siding with today – your critic, or the part of you that wants to heal?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.