Could it be Attachment?Could it be Attachment?
The Agents of Recovery Podcast
Coaches Blu and Wendell talk candidly about attachment styles, sharing personal stories that link childhood experiences to adult relationships in recovery. Their conversation centres on how awareness of these patterns can help create more secure and satisfying connections.
56:58•11 Sept 2026
Could It Be Attachment? Relationships, Recovery and the Way We Bond
Episode Overview
- Attachment styles are learned in early life and strongly influence adult relationships, especially during recovery.
- People may move between secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant patterns depending on stress and context.
- Small daily habits, like avoiding honest conversations or constantly seeking reassurance, can quietly damage connection over time.
- Recognising your own attachment style is the first step to changing behaviour and building more secure, honest bonds.
- Recovery offers a chance to notice old patterns before they become relapse triggers or lead to isolation and resentment.
“"The cool thing about behaviours like these attachments is they are learned, which means they can be unlearned."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This chat between Coach Blu Robinson and Coach Wendell Wood zeroes in on something many people in recovery quietly wrestle with: attachment styles and how they can make relationships feel amazing one minute and terrifying the next.
You’ll hear them break down secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment in plain language, tying each style back to childhood experiences, early bonds with parents, and those unspoken family rules about love and approval. Blu and Wendell don’t sit safely on the sidelines either; they openly admit their own patterns, with Blu recognising his "avoidant" tendencies and Wendell relating strongly to "anxious" attachment and a constant need for reassurance.
The conversation gets very real when they share everyday examples: worrying a partner will be upset over a cancelled recording, overthinking whether to do homework or spend time together, or retreating from family moments because "no one’s here to see me". They show how these small, seemingly harmless habits are like loose pebbles on a steep trail — trip over enough of them and the whole relationship feels unstable.
Throughout, they keep things grounded in recovery, reminding you that sobriety doesn’t magically rewrite your nervous system, but it does give you a chance to notice these patterns before they turn into relapses, resentment or isolation. Their key message? Attachment behaviours are learned, which means they can be unlearned with awareness, honesty and a bit of courage to ask for what you actually need.
If you’ve ever wondered why good relationships still feel scary, clingy or distant in recovery, this conversation might help you see your own attachment story more clearly and ask: what kind of bond am I building today?
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