Darrell Demers: 28 Years on High AlertDarrell Demers: 28 Years on High Alert
Struggle Well Podcast
Retired paramedic Darrell Demers reflects on using alcohol to cope with decades of high-alert stress, the health crises that followed, and how Struggle Well training helped him speak his shame and change his life. His story highlights the power of honest conversation and community for first responders and others living as if the next emergency is always around the corner.
35:50•7 Oct 2026
Darrell Demers on Life After High Alert and Letting Go of the Worry Wart Card
Episode Overview
- Using alcohol to manage traumatic work experiences may suppress feelings in the short term but can lead to long-term emotional and physical fallout.
- Stopping drinking can uncover underlying stress and trauma that need attention beyond medical tests and prescriptions.
- Speaking openly about shame and painful experiences in a non-judgemental group can reduce their power and support genuine healing.
- Shifting focus from worst-case thinking to the "good wolf" mindset eases constant anxiety and changes how family and friends experience you.
- Seeking structured support, such as Struggle Well-style programmes, can turn years of silent struggle into meaningful growth and stronger relationships.
“Shame cannot survive being spoken.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation with retired paramedic Darrell Demers offers a raw look at life lived on high alert, and what happens when you finally decide to step off that cliff edge. For 28 years, Darrell’s job meant running towards other people’s worst days.
He started as the youngest paramedic in Massachusetts at 19, fuelled by camaraderie, adrenaline, and, over time, a worrying dependence on alcohol to quiet his mind after brutal calls. He admits, "Unfortunately, alcohol became a coping mechanism and a habit," and shares how post‑shift beers at 7am became his way of pushing emotions down rather than facing them.
Years later, after he quit drinking on his own, his body began "keeping the score" – vivid dreams, intense night sweats, and a cascade of health scares with no clear medical cause. A friend’s question – "Do you think it's all that stuff coming back at you?" – and his son’s tip about Boulder Crest pushed Darrell towards seeking help instead of another test or scan.
At a Struggle Well retreat, surrounded by other first responders and veterans, Darrell found language for what he’d been carrying and a safe space to say things he’d never said out loud, even to his wife. One phrase from the programme stayed with him: "Shame cannot survive being spoken." Once he started talking, his blood pressure dropped, his weight and cholesterol improved, and his family noticed he seemed "lighter" and less trapped in worst‑case thinking.
He now talks about feeding the "good wolf", burning his "worry wart club" card, and finally feeling able to enjoy his marriage of 33 years, his grown children, and simple joys like trips to Maine and New Zealand. For anyone using alcohol to cope with constant stress or intrusive thoughts, Darrell’s story shows that stepping into honest conversation can change your health, your relationships, and maybe even save your life.
What might shift for you if you stopped carrying it all alone?
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