DUNAMIS_ THE COMPANY WE KEEPDUNAMIS_ THE COMPANY WE KEEP
Resilient Truths
Dr. Bell shares the meaning of giving and how having boundaries is important. We understand situations and circumstances come and can typically drain us but one must also take into consideration the people in our lives who use us as a tool even as a crutc...
39:17•28 Feb 2024
Giving Without Losing Yourself: Boundaries, Faith and the Company You Keep
Episode Overview
- Giving should come from the heart, not from pressure or a desire for financial return.
- What you give out emotionally – judgement, love, compassion or anger – is often what comes back to you.
- Forgiveness is a process that requires clear boundaries so people cannot keep hurting you.
- Over-giving time, money and energy can leave you drained; disciplined stewardship protects your health and resources.
- The people around you may rely on you too heavily, so it’s vital to stay in your lane and stop trying to be everything for everybody.
“"Give what's in your cup, and then what's in your saucer, you give to others."”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? Dr Theresa M Bell brings raw honesty, humour and faith together as she talks about generosity, boundaries and the “company we keep” in a way that hits home for anyone who tends to give until they’re running on empty.
Speaking from Luke 6:37–38, she challenges the way some prosperity preachers use “give, and it shall be given unto you”, stressing that it’s about the heart, not money: if you’re giving cash just to get more back, “that’s tit for tat… my God ain’t going to just give me $20.” Instead, she points to what we give emotionally and spiritually: judgement, condemnation, love, joy, compassion – and how those same things often come back to us.
You’ll hear her unpack forgiveness as a long, messy process that needs boundaries, not endless people-pleasing. She reminds everyone that Jesus himself set physical and emotional limits, and that saying “I forgive you” doesn’t mean letting someone keep hurting you. This session is especially relatable for helpers, carers and those in recovery who feel constantly drained.
Dr Bell jokes about “running around in a Cadillac with a food stamp card” and realises she’s “doing too much for everybody” while her own car, health and finances go unattended. Her picture of self-care is simple and memorable: “Give what’s in your cup, and then what’s in your saucer, you give to others.” Rooted in her own background with drugs, alcohol and street life, her message is steeped in compassion for people facing homelessness, mental health struggles and addiction.
She calls for disciplined giving, emotional honesty, and the courage to say no so that helping others doesn’t destroy you in the process. If you’ve ever wondered whether your big heart is costing you your peace, this talk might be the nudge to rethink how, why and to whom you give.
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