Are You Helping… or Enabling? The Shift from Saving to Supporting and Setting BoundariesAre You Helping… or Enabling? The Shift from Saving to Supporting and Setting Boundaries
Recover Your Soul: A Spiritual Path to a Happy and Healthy Life
Rev. Rachel Harrison reflects on the fine line between helping and enabling, especially with adult children facing addiction or life struggles. She shares personal stories and spiritual tools for moving from rescuing to loving, boundary-based support while staying true to your own soul.
38:35•4 May 2026
Helping or Enabling? Finding the Courage to Set Loving Boundaries
Episode Overview
- There is a crucial difference between supporting someone and repeatedly saving them from the consequences of their choices.
- Enabling can actually "disable" loved ones by blocking their chance to learn, grow and resource themselves.
- Help only to the level that someone is genuinely helping themselves, rather than from guilt, fear or people-pleasing.
- Acceptance of reality and willingness to sit in discomfort are key to shifting from rescuing to loving detachment.
- Each relationship and situation is unique, so the "right" boundary comes from listening to your own inner guidance, not from one-size-fits-all rules.
“"When we enable, we disable them."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This conversation with Rev. Rachel Harrison focuses on one of the trickiest parts of recovery and family life: figuring out whether you're genuinely helping someone or quietly keeping them stuck. Speaking from her own recovery from alcoholism, codependency and control addiction, Rachel talks about the shift from rescuing loved ones to supporting them with clear boundaries.
She shares honest stories about her husband and adult sons, including times she repeatedly bailed them out and later realised, "I was not supporting him. I was trying to save him." A powerful line from her soul circle group captures the heart of the episode: "When we enable, we disable them." The chat looks closely at parents of adult children dealing with addiction, mental health struggles, or simply the chaos of early adulthood.
Rachel explains how people-pleasing and a fear of discomfort can drive us to over-give, fix and rescue, just so we can feel brief relief that "it's going to be all right". Instead, she encourages what she calls loving detachment: staying connected, spiritually grounded, and compassionate, while allowing others to face consequences and grow.
You'll hear how she closed the "Bank of Mum", forgave old loans, and began only helping "to the level in which they are helping themselves." She also talks about accepting that every soul has its own path, that there is "no one answer" for every family, and that your job is to listen within and act from your deeper self, not from panic or guilt.
If you’ve ever wondered whether saying yes is kindness or enabling, this gentle, spiritually based episode might help you pause, breathe, and ask: what actually feels true to your soul today?
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