Emotional Sobriety - Control - Mark Beebe

Emotional Sobriety - Control - Mark Beebe

This episode sheds light on the exhausting cycle of trying to control everything and everyone, especially in families touched by addiction. Mark Beebe shares his long-standing question: "How do I get to a place where I can control the bad stuff?" From living with an alcoholic spouse who later died from the disease, to watching fear play across his children’s faces, he talks openly about the weight of trying to stay ahead of every crisis.

Drawing on Lisa TerKeurst’s work, Mark walks through the "P words" of control: prevent, protect, pretend, prepare, perfect, perform and predict. You’ll hear relatable stories about parenting teenagers who lie about where they’ve been, tightening curfews that "never work", and sweeping problems under the rug until the lump is impossible to ignore.

His humour about travel planning with his wife Carol keeps things light, even as he points to how anxiety, ego and pride sneak into every attempt to manage life.

From there, the focus shifts to the first step of recovery – admitting powerlessness – and how far that is from the idea that "every single thing in my life depends on me." Mark raises a challenging question: is Jesus actually lord in your life, or just a teacher you keep at arm’s length so you can stay in control?

He shares personal grief around his father’s fatal car crash and the endless "what if" thinking that followed, showing how hard it can be to surrender what we can’t change. The episode closes with the serenity prayer, which Mark calls "power, man," and suggests praying daily to gauge your peace and willingness to let Jesus carry what you can’t.

If you’ve ever tried to outthink addiction or protect loved ones from every possible harm, this honest conversation might prompt you to ask: what would it feel like to lay down control and lean into powerlessness instead?