Ep. 103 - How to Know If You're Making the Right Decision

Ep. 103 - How to Know If You're Making the Right Decision

How do people find hope in the darkest times? This Supported Sobriety episode looks at the quiet crisis so many women face when living with a partner’s pornography addiction: the crushing loss of self-trust and the fear of making the “wrong” decision. Katie Davis speaks directly to women in betrayal trauma, especially those in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who feel torn about whether to stay in their marriage, set new boundaries, or walk away.

The tone is warm, faith-centred, and practical, sprinkled with everyday life updates, a new microphone, kids’ birthdays and camping trips, so you’ll feel like you’re sitting down with a thoughtful friend, not in a formal lecture.

At the heart of the episode is a simple but challenging idea: “The right decision does not come from anybody else except for you.” Katie explains how many women judge past decisions by their outcomes—like choosing to stay, then seeing a relapse and thinking, “I knew it, I made the wrong choice.” She calls this an exhausting mental trap, because a husband’s behaviour is outside their control.

Instead, she lays out a framework for defining a “right” decision based on things you can actually control: going sincerely to God, using all the information you have at the time, choosing from clarity rather than fear, and allowing yourself to reassess choices as new information comes. She shares her own story of basing her worth as a coach on clients’ reactions, then learning to measure success by her own standards and effort, not other people’s results.

There’s also gentle teaching around nervous system regulation, reminding women that deep inner healing is needed before big choices feel manageable. If you’re stuck in loops of second-guessing and shame around your partner’s porn use, could this be the perspective shift that helps you start trusting yourself again?