Ep 186. How Sobriety Revealed the Truth About Her Sexuality, with Alexandra McRobertEp 186. How Sobriety Revealed the Truth About Her Sexuality, with Alexandra McRobert
Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss
Ash Butterss talks with yoga teacher and author Alexandra McRobert about getting sober, building a life in Bali, and how meditation and recovery led her to recognise she is a lesbian. Their conversation links spirituality, community and self-acceptance with the practical reality of living alcohol-free.
1:03:08•2 Aug 2026
Sobriety, Yoga and Coming Out: Alexandra McRobert’s Truth Behind the Smile
Episode Overview
- Sobriety can shift far more than drinking habits, including relationships, work and sexuality.
- Yoga, meditation and kirtan can deepen recovery by building awareness, presence and connection.
- Online sober communities and women-focused spaces offer vital support where formal meetings are limited.
- Suppressing sexuality and self-truth can show up as long-term tension and pain in the body.
- Creating a life rooted in purpose, presence and belonging is possible through spiritual practice and honest self-reflection.
“I believe that yoga and sobriety are the same thing, right? We’re striving to come into a state of consciousness and a state of union.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? For Alexandra McRobert, quitting drinking in 2019 didn’t just change her habits; it shifted her entire sense of identity, including her sexuality. Ash Butterss sits down with Alexandra, a Canadian yoga teacher and meditation guide living in Ubud, Bali, to talk about how sobriety, spirituality and self-acceptance are all tangled together.
You’ll hear how years of drinking in the Middle East turned every trip and social event into a mission to secure the next drink, right up to her “day one” of sober life on a flight from Morocco to Abu Dhabi. Alexandra shares vivid memories of hiding behind a smile on a rooftop in Morocco while quietly organising her whole holiday around alcohol. From there, the conversation shifts to yoga and recovery.
Alexandra explains why she “believe[s] that yoga and sobriety are the same thing,” and how her teaching completely changed once she stopped drinking. She talks about building her own rooftop shala in Bali, leading kirtan, and creating sober yoga spaces for women after finding formal 12-step meetings hard to access in the Middle East.
One of the most striking parts of the episode is Alexandra’s account of how meditation and kirtan helped her realise she’s a lesbian, despite years of dating and even marrying men. A 10-day Vipassana retreat and deep bodywork revealed long-held tension and self-hatred linked to repressing her sexuality, and she now speaks openly about coming out in sobriety and dating women in a culture where queer relationships aren’t always visible.
This conversation will resonate if you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, your relationships with others, or even your relationship with yourself. It’s a reminder that getting sober can open doors you never knew existed. What might change for you if you stopped hiding behind the smile?
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