Ep 199. Courage To Heal: Overcoming Childhood Trauma, with Diane YoungEp 199. Courage To Heal: Overcoming Childhood Trauma, with Diane Young
Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss
Ash Butterss and psychotherapist Diane Young talk about how childhood trauma shapes adult behaviour, addiction and relationships, and share how structured trauma work has supported recovery. They also outline the Courage To Heal retreat in Bali, combining group therapy and somatic practices with ongoing aftercare.
39:06•1 Nov 2026
Courage to Heal: Diane Young on Childhood Trauma, Boundaries and Real Recovery
Episode Overview
- All forms of childhood trauma, including subtle neglect and emotional absence, can strongly influence adult relationships and mental health.
- Building healthy self-esteem starts with recognising early unmet needs and separating what belongs to you from what was put on you as a child.
- Patterns such as love addiction, love avoidance, perfectionism and rage often stem from experiences of abandonment, enmeshment or parentification.
- Intensive group trauma work offers powerful validation, helping people move from intellectual understanding to emotional honesty and belonging.
- Ongoing support after deep trauma work is crucial, as integration and stabilisation continue well beyond a single week of therapy or retreat.
“"I laughed when you said big T trauma because I think it's all trauma."”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol and start healing childhood wounds at the same time? This conversation between Ash Butterss and psychotherapist Diane Young gives you a front‑row seat to that kind of shift. Diane, a leading addiction specialist with 51 years of continuous sobriety, talks with Ash about why "all trauma counts"—not just the obvious stuff.
She challenges the idea of big T versus little t trauma and explains how subtle childhood experiences like emotional neglect, lack of affection or feeling unseen can echo through adult relationships, self-esteem and addiction. As she puts it, many adults arrive in therapy after ticking all the success boxes and still asking, "Why do I feel empty?" A big focus is Pia Mellody’s developmental model of immaturity, the foundation of the Changes trauma programme that transformed Ash’s recovery.
Diane breaks down how early unmet needs shape patterns like love addiction, love avoidance, perfectionism and rage, and how giving back "what you carry that is not yours" becomes a pivotal part of healing shame, pain and anger. You’ll hear Ash reflect on sitting in treatment feeling like an imposter among people with "extreme" trauma, and realising that her own history of abandonment and enmeshment was driving repeated relationship patterns and a desperate need for validation.
She describes the deep impact of inner child work and how it helped her build genuine self-esteem and a healthy marriage. The episode also introduces their upcoming "Courage To Heal" retreat in Bali, combining Diane’s intensive group trauma work with Ash’s gentle somatic practices like yoga and breathwork, plus a month of structured aftercare.
Together, they stress that the real magic happens when people find the courage to be emotionally honest in a safe, intimate group and finally feel like they belong. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same emotional place, could this be the nudge to look underneath the surface?
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