Ep277 – “Freeze” as a Defense Mechanism
Ep277 – “Freeze” as a Defense Mechanism

Untoxicated Podcast

Nervous system activation is often described as one of these four reactions: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Sheri used all four tools to protect herself in her marriage to Matt during and after his active alcoholism. On this episode,

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58:39•6 Jan 2025

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Untoxicated Podcast

Matt & Sheri Salis

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal. Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too. No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories. For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.

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Understanding 'Freeze' as a Defence Mechanism in Alcoholic Relationships

Episode Overview

Freeze is a common defence mechanism in stressful situations.
Misinterpretations can lead to misunderstandings in relationships.
Coping strategies vary and can include fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
Recovery from alcoholism involves both the alcoholic and their loved ones.
Humour can help lighten serious discussions about difficult topics.

“I thought coming home after work and having a couple of cocktails was a rite of passage into adulthood.”

Ever wondered why you or your partner might freeze up in stressful situations? This episode of the Untoxicated Podcast dives into the concept of 'freeze' as a defence mechanism, especially in the context of a relationship impacted by alcoholism. Sheri and Matt Salis, the hosts, share their personal journey through Matt's active alcoholism and recovery. Sheri discusses how she used various coping strategies, including freezing, to protect herself during their turbulent times.

Matt opens up about his misinterpretations of Sheri's actions, thinking her reluctance to engage was a sign of waiting for his enlightenment. They also share light-hearted moments about steaming tomatoes and wind gusts in church, adding a touch of humour to their serious discussion. If you've ever struggled with understanding your reactions or those of a loved one in stressful situations, this episode offers relatable insights and reflections from a couple who have been through it all.

Tune in for an honest conversation about coping mechanisms, recovery, and the journey towards a healthier relationship.

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