Ep368 – Feeling Judged

Ep368 – Feeling Judged

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between Sheri and Matt Salis pulls back the curtain on what it’s like to carry old feelings of judgment long after the actual criticism has stopped. You’ll hear the couple shift between humour and heavy topics as they talk about grief, midlife "realisation", and the ripple effects of Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse on their relationship.

They joke about movie length and ice cream habits, but keep circling back to a serious theme: how past judgment and shame can keep replaying in your head, even in a healthier, safer present. One big thread is their family rule: no comments about anyone’s food. What started as a way to stop casual teasing has become a bigger commitment to creating emotional safety at home.

Sheri explains how she grew up seeing home as a safe space, so cutting out teasing and food commentary really matters to her, especially with kids who react differently to banter. Matt shares moments where he still feels judged—about his ice cream consumption, his libido, and even living in an apartment in midlife—then learns that sometimes the judgment is only in his head.

Other times, Sheri openly admits she *is* judging him, like when he keeps eating ice cream he says he doesn’t like, because she wants to save it for herself. They also touch on cultural issues like consent and the "Cornell Seven", with Matt arguing strongly that written consent should be standard and that public shame can be a natural consequence of failing to act when harm is happening.

Throughout, the focus stays on recovery: from alcohol, from emotional abuse, from ingrained shame and guilt. The talk is messy, honest, and often funny, making it especially relatable for anyone trying to rebuild emotional safety in a relationship after addiction. What lingering judgments might still be shaping your own recovery story?