Episode 799: An Honest Self-Assessment (A Step Four Discussion)Episode 799: An Honest Self-Assessment (A Step Four Discussion)
Take 12 Recovery Radio
About This Broadcast: AN HONEST SELF-ASSESSMENT (A Step Four Discussion). Join Dave, Roger and th...
1:04:15•8 Jan 2024
An Honest Look at Step Four: Facing Yourself Without Flinching
Episode Overview
- A thorough Step Four is meant to be done once; ongoing self-review shifts into daily Step Ten rather than repeated formal inventories.
- If a Fourth Step only scratches the surface or leaves out the hardest secrets, it hasn’t truly been “searching and fearless.”
- Resentment, fear, and harms inventories focus on finding "my part", even in painful situations where others clearly did wrong.
- Fear of judgement and shame is common, but sharing honestly with a trusted person, such as a sponsor or pastor, is essential to relief.
- Relying solely on self tends to fail; the episode highlights repeated references to God in the Big Book and stresses dependence on a power greater than oneself.
“You’ve either done a searching fearless moral inventory, or you haven’t.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This chat on Take 12 Recovery Radio zooms in on one of the most feared parts of the Twelve Steps: Step Four, the “searching and fearless moral inventory.” If you’ve ever stalled on writing your inventory or wondered how honest is “honest enough”, you’ll feel right at home here.
Host Monty Dale Meyer (the Monty’man) sits down with co-host Roger McDermott and guest Dave Fleming for a relaxed, often funny, but very straight-talking conversation about what an “honest self-assessment” actually looks like. They address the big question head-on: “How many times do you do a Fourth Step?” Roger is clear: “I do a four-step once.
When I’m done… my four-step becomes Step Ten, and I do it every day.” The trio stress that if you only skim the surface, “then you haven’t done a four step,” no matter how many times you say you have. You’ll hear them break down the different inventories in the Big Book — resentments, fears, sex conduct, and harms — with real-life examples.
Monty shares about his aunt and a stolen inheritance to show how painful resentments can still reveal “my part” in the situation. Dave talks about the fear of sharing the “deep, dark stuff”, and how he finally owned the things he’d left out. Roger admits his own “phd in procrastination”, taking 18 months between columns before his sponsor marched him to the library to finish.
Faith and a Higher Power run through the whole conversation, with the guys counting how often God is mentioned in the Big Book and how relying on self always came up short. They also emphasise encouragement, humour, and kindness in sponsorship: if you want self‑esteem, “do esteemable acts” and tell people when they’re doing well.
If you’re stuck on Step Four, afraid of being truly honest, or tempted to keep “just one” secret, this episode might nudge you to ask: what am I still holding back, and is it worth my sobriety?
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