Episode 80: Breaking the Silence, with Rich Dunning

Episode 80: Breaking the Silence, with Rich Dunning

What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? In this conversation, Rich Dunning sits down with host Casey Arrillaga to talk about growing up in a family and neighbourhood where addiction, violence and poverty were treated as normal and never questioned. Rich explains how silence became his survival strategy as a child, and how that same silence nearly killed him as an adult.

Drawing from his memoir *Silence Was My First Language*, Rich describes vivid scenes of abuse and fear, like being beaten on his first day of school and later having his hair hacked off by his stepfather. He also recalls rare moments of kindness, such as the teacher who quietly cut his hair into a neat style so he could face his classmates: a small act that made him feel, for the first time, that someone truly cared.

Casey brings his own experience of growing up around addiction, highlighting how families across class and culture can share the same unwritten rule: "no one can know what happens in this house." Together, they talk about generational patterns, shame, and why families so often protect the abuser rather than the children.

The episode also tackles a common family question: "Why can’t they just stop?" Rich describes what he calls the "hamster wheel" of addiction, the blackout drinking, and the painful realisation that he often tried to get sober for everyone else, not for himself. His turning point comes with a suicide attempt interrupted by his young child’s voice, leading to genuine surrender, treatment, and finally finding refuge in recovery fellowships.

You’ll hear hard truths about codependency, boundaries, and the long process of rebuilding trust, along with Casey’s focus on realistic hope and the idea that recovery can extend to the whole family. If you’ve ever felt alone in the chaos of addiction, this candid chat might leave you asking: what would breaking the silence look like in your own family?