Episode 76: Finding Grace and Healing as a Wife and Mother, with Emily RedondoEpisode 76: Finding Grace and Healing as a Wife and Mother, with Emily Redondo
Addiction and the Family
Emily Redondo talks about how she has dealt with years of addiction, how this impacted her self-image as a wife, mother, and person in recovery, and her new book, "Wife, Mother, Drunk."
49:46•24 Apr 2026
Wife, Mother, Drunk: Emily Redondo on Shame, Sobriety and Self‑Forgiveness
Episode Overview
- Addiction in mothers is heavily stigmatised, adding layers of shame that can make recovery feel even harder.
- Understanding basic brain science, like the role of the limbic system and amygdala, can reduce blame and reframe addiction as a survival drive.
- Family patterns of silence around trauma and feelings can feed generational cycles of addiction and other compulsive behaviours.
- Self-forgiveness often grows from many small, private acts of courage and honest self-examination rather than one dramatic moment.
- Letting go of the vague judgment of what “they” think can free people in recovery to focus on who they actually are and what they truly want.
“Shame is a killer, literally. That's one of the things I'm most proud of is that I don't feel that anymore.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? Episode 76 of *Addiction and the Family* turns that question towards mothers with addiction through the raw, honest story of author Emily Redondo. Speaking with host Casey Arrillaga, Emily talks about getting sober in 2016 after years of alcoholism, multiple treatment stays, and parenting four children while her body depended on alcohol just to function.
She grew up in an alcoholic home, with trauma passed down through farming and military families where no one talked or even "felt" about what was happening. As she puts it, some families "didn't feel about it either," and that silence shaped her drinking and recovery. A big focus here is what it means to be a "drunk mum" in a culture that glorifies perfect motherhood.
Emily shares painful moments, like other preschool mums rallying around her husband with meals while she felt quietly judged and erased. She jokes darkly about being the one who must be punished, then unpacks how shame nearly killed her: "Shame is a killer, literally.
That's one of the things I'm most proud of is that I don't feel that anymore." Casey adds simple brain science around the limbic system and the amygdala to explain why addiction feels like survival, not bad choices, helping family members shift from blame to understanding. Emily talks about her memoir *Wife, Mother, Drunk*, the "trifecta" of eating disorders, self-harm, and alcohol, and the tiny, private acts of courage that slowly led to self-forgiveness.
If you're a parent in addiction or recovery, or love someone who is, you'll hear a mix of dark humour, straight-talking honesty, and realistic hope that you can move beyond shame and start liking the person you're trying so hard to save. What might change for your family if you understood addiction as desperation rather than defect?
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