Allison K. Dagney
Allison K. Dagney
Episode 179: Mini Series 1: Why You Shouldn't Have Seen The Signs
Episode 179: Mini Series 1: Why You Shouldn't Have Seen The Signs
Episode 179: Mini Series 1: Why You Shouldn't Have Seen The Signs
Tuesday 9th September 2025
Explore why survivors often miss signs of abuse and learn to reframe self-blame with insights from Allison K. Dagney.
20 minutes
Inspiring
Hopeful
Informative
Compassionate
Encouraging
About this podcast
Author:
Allison K. Dagney
Overview:
Categories:
Recovery from Trauma
Healing from Sexual Trauma
Healing Relationships
Mindful Recovery
Understanding Addiction & Recovery
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Episodes:
232 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!Why Survivors Aren't Meant to Spot Red Flags
Episode Overview
- Survivors often blame themselves for not seeing signs of abuse.
- Abusers deliberately hide warning signs to manipulate victims.
- Societal narratives can reinforce feelings of shame and guilt.
- Trust and kindness are strengths, not weaknesses.
- Reframing beliefs can help release self-blame.
You weren't blind; you were normal, but in an abnormal situation.
Ever found yourself thinking, 'I should have seen the signs of abuse'? This episode tackles that nagging self-blame many survivors face. Host Allison K. Dagney, a certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, shares her own experiences of emotional abuse and why survivors often feel they missed the red flags. She argues that abusers are skilled at hiding these signs, making it nearly impossible for victims to notice them in the moment.
Allison explores how societal narratives and cultural expectations can exacerbate feelings of shame and guilt among survivors, and how cognitive dissonance plays a role in this confusion. Through relatable anecdotes, Allison highlights the intentional strategies abusers use to manipulate and deceive. Her message is clear: survivors aren't blind or naive; they're simply caught in a complex web of manipulation. The episode also delves into brain science, explaining how our natural instincts to trust and connect can be exploited by abusers.
Allison provides practical advice on reframing self-blaming beliefs and recognising that kindness and trust are strengths, not weaknesses. She encourages listeners to embrace their journey with compassion and grace, recognising their resilience despite challenging circumstances. This episode is not just about spotting red flags but about shifting the beliefs that keep survivors stuck in self-blame. With humour and empathy, Allison helps listeners understand that they were meant to live and love, not be burdened by past mistakes.
Are you ready to let go of the guilt and embrace your true self? Tune in for a refreshing perspective on emotional abuse recovery.