Allison K. Dagney
Allison K. Dagney
Episode 180: Mini Series 2: Why You Couldn't Have Known Better
Episode 180: Mini Series 2: Why You Couldn't Have Known Better
Episode 180: Mini Series 2: Why You Couldn't Have Known Better
Tuesday 16th September 2025
Explore why self-blame in emotional abuse recovery is unfair and how to embrace healing with compassion.
20 minutes
Inspiring
Compassionate
Informative
Supportive
Healing
About this podcast
Author:
Allison K. Dagney
Overview:
Categories:
Recovery from Trauma
Healing from Sexual Trauma
Healing Relationships
Mindful Recovery
Understanding Addiction & Recovery
Links:
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Episodes:
232 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!Why 'I Should Have Known Better' Is Unfair
Episode Overview
- Survivors often unfairly blame themselves for not recognising abuse sooner.
- Abuse clouds judgment, making survival instincts take precedence over clarity.
- Healing requires reframing thoughts from self-blame to self-compassion.
- Cognitive dissonance plays a significant role in abusive relationships.
- Wisdom comes after experiences, not during them.
"Knowing in theory isn't actually knowing in reality."
How often have you replayed your past, thinking, 'I should’ve known better'? In this captivating episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast, host Allison K. Dagney tackles the nagging self-blame many survivors of emotional abuse feel. Allison, a survivor herself and a Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, offers a compassionate perspective on why these feelings of regret are not only unfair but untrue. She explains that abuse clouds judgment and rewires the brain, making survival instincts override clarity.
Allison shares her personal journey, recounting how she too was stuck in the loop of self-doubt and guilt. She explains how this mindset keeps survivors anchored in the past, preventing healing and growth. Through engaging anecdotes and practical advice, she encourages listeners to reframe their thoughts—shifting from self-blame to self-compassion. The episode also dives into the complexities of cognitive dissonance and how our brains prioritize survival over logic when faced with emotional abuse.
Allison discusses the importance of recognising these patterns and highlights the need to heal emotional wounds at their root to break free from harmful cycles. By the end of the episode, listeners are left with a powerful message: wisdom often comes after experiences, not during them. It's a reminder that healing requires grace and patience with oneself. So, if you're grappling with past decisions or seeking a fresh perspective on recovery, this episode is a must-listen.
Could it be time to let go of that heavy bag of rocks called guilt?