ESH: Ashley S

ESH: Ashley S

What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This one centres on Ashley S, who stands at the podium with shaking hands and a strong commitment to service, sharing how anxiety, panic attacks and alcoholism shaped her life. You’ll hear how Ashley’s nickname "Jaywalker" comes straight from the Big Book, and why the jaywalking story perfectly mirrors her drinking: "Such a man, or myself, would be crazy, wouldn't I?

So I can really resonate with that, because that's my alcoholism to a key." She talks about growing up around heavy drinking, fights and chaos, and how early anxiety, dissociation and abandonment set the stage for using alcohol as her solution, not her problem: "My problem was Ashley.

My problem was my thinking." Ashley walks through the progression from party culture and hangovers to blackouts, hiding bottles in garages and at work, breathalysers in the glovebox, and waking up having lost days at a time. She describes terrifying moments – like jumping from moving vehicles and being found choking on her own vomit – that still didn’t stop her from drinking.

Her story then shifts to AA: treatment, her first meetings, sponsorship, service and learning that the spiritual emptiness hurt more than any external consequence. She’s honest about relapse, a relationship she made into a higher power, and the pain of feeling like a newcomer again when she returned to North Park Fellowship.

One of the most moving parts is a powerful fifth-step experience in a storm at Bass Lake, and the later joy of finding her biological father after getting sober, with him eventually handing her a three-year chip. Ashley finishes with gratitude for AA, a new sponsee, and her acceptance into a master’s programme in social work.

If you’re wondering whether AA can help you rebuild your life, Ashley’s honesty, humour and persistence might be exactly what you need to hear today.