ESH: Father Bill W (47 Years)

ESH: Father Bill W (47 Years)

What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? Father Bill W’s share from the 11th Mid-Winter Conference in 1990 offers a raw, funny and deeply moving account of life before and after Alcoholics Anonymous. Recorded when he had around 47 years of sobriety, this talk follows Bill from a tiny Irish village and a strict monastic life, through academic success, secret drinking and painful collapse, to finally reaching AA.

He’s brutally honest about ego, hypocrisy and the double life of being a priest and a drunk. At one point his superior tells him, “All it did for you was it made you an alcoholic,” a line that shatters his image of himself and launches decades of denial and resentment.

You’ll hear about his chaotic years as a “loner” priest in California, the drunken rage that nearly turned murderous on a Mexican beach, and the moment of utter despair when he looks at the ocean and realises, “Either you’ll murder someone someday, or you’ll be murdered.” For anyone who thinks they’ve gone too far, his description of seeing himself clearly for the first time is painfully familiar.

The turning point comes in a tiny Mexican parish house, where an old priest calmly tells him, “All that’s wrong is you have a disease… you’re sick,” and introduces him to AA. From there, Bill shares how the Steps, sponsorship and a new understanding of God gradually replace self-hatred with a sense of being loved exactly as he is.

This recording suits anyone in recovery who wrestles with faith, shame, or the feeling of being a complete fraud—especially those with years of religious training or service. If you’ve ever wondered whether a higher power could still want you after everything you’ve done, this story might make you ask a different question: what if you’ve been loved all along?