ESH: Marilyn S - 49 Years

ESH: Marilyn S - 49 Years

Curious about how others manage a lifetime of sobriety, grief, and growth? This talk from Marilyn S of Los Angeles, recorded just days before her 50th AA birthday, is a long-haul story of recovery that feels both down-to-earth and quietly remarkable. Marilyn shares how she once treated science as her “higher power”, chasing lab coats, slide rules and Nobel Prize dreams, yet feeling like a fraud and deeply miserable.

Alcohol arrived in the form of 90% ethanol on a lab shelf, and, as she puts it, “Alcohol took me to a place that I had never even imagined.” That place, of course, didn’t last, and the fallout included family chaos, car crashes, and her mother‑in‑law threatening to lock her up.

You’ll hear how a 12‑step call from Lorena brought Marilyn into AA, where a tough but loving sponsor, a lively home group, and even compulsory volleyball in Clancy’s backyard slowly taught her to live instead of just think.

She talks honestly about parasitic dependence on people, learning to shift that dependence towards a higher power and the AA fellowship, and how “spirituality is being where you say you’re going to be and doing what you say you’re going to do.” This share seems especially suited to people interested in long-term sobriety, sponsorship, and living through loss.

Marilyn explains how, after years of treating the steps like a self-help programme, she realised she was missing the heart of Step 12: service. Sponsoring others and throwing herself back into AA changed everything. She also describes staying sober through devastating losses, including the suicide of her son and later the deaths of her husband and beloved sponsor, and how AA, service, and a deepening relationship with a higher power carried her through.

If you’ve ever wondered whether AA can still work after decades, or through the worst news imaginable, this talk might be exactly what you need today.