Got the ick? Dating, disgust and evolutionary psychologyGot the ick? Dating, disgust and evolutionary psychology
All In The Mind
Have you ever experienced "the ick"? It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh. Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it? To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style. You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode first aired in March 2025. Guests: Michaela Single and ick-prone Adam Horvath Clinical Psychologist at Personal Psychology Professor Gery Karantzas, PhD Couples therapist Director, Science of Adult Relationships laboratory Deakin University Credits: Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar Senior producer: James Bullen Producer: Rose Kerr Sound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael Grossman You can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here. More information: The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds
29:36•27 Dec 2025
Why 'The Ick' Could Be Ruining Your Love Life
Episode Overview
- The ick can reveal underlying attachment issues.
- Mate selection is influenced by evolutionary psychology.
- Societal shifts towards individualism affect dating norms.
- Perfectionism may lead to unrealistic relationship standards.
- Understanding the ick can improve relationship dynamics.
“It's like your body shrivels up into a little raisin.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? In this lively episode of 'All In The Mind,' host Sana Kadar takes us on a journey through the often humorous, sometimes perplexing world of dating and the infamous 'ick.' Ever felt an inexplicable cringe towards a date's choice of hat or their awkward gait? You're not alone.
Clinical psychologist Adam Horvath and couples counsellor Gerry Karancis join the conversation to unpack why these seemingly trivial things can make or break a budding romance. Michaela, our millennial case study, shares her own encounters with the ick, revealing how a simple fedora can become a symbol of deeper attachment issues. Is it just superficial judgement, or does it hint at something more profound about our insecurities and attachment styles?
This episode doesn't just stop at personal anecdotes; it digs into evolutionary psychology, exploring how mate selection and gender norms play into our modern dating woes. Gerry and Adam provide fascinating insights into how the ick reflects our societal shifts towards individualism and perfectionism.
With a sprinkle of humour and plenty of real-life stories, this episode challenges us to consider whether we're being too quick to judge and what we might be missing out on when we let the ick take over. So, what's your take? Is the ick a valid gut feeling or just an excuse to avoid intimacy?
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