How Do You Say, "I'm Just Not That Into You"?

How Do You Say, "I'm Just Not That Into You"?

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when real life keeps handing out awkward conversations and bruised egos? Recovery Rocks takes that question straight into the messy territory of rejection. Co-hosts Lisa Smith and Anna David swap stories that blend work, love, sponsorship and parenting, all through the lens of long-term recovery. If you’ve ever dreaded saying “I’m just not that into you” – to a partner, an employee, or even a sponsee – you’ll feel seen.

Lisa talks about the first time she had to fire someone after getting sober, and how she “bookended” the conversation by calling her sponsor before and after. She jokes about Disney’s version of getting sacked – “we invite you to find your bliss elsewhere” – while stressing how crucial compassion and practical suggestions are when someone simply isn’t the right fit for a role. Anna shifts things into dating territory with a story that sounds straight out of a romcom.

After breaking up with a writer she’d admired in Elle, she later finds out he wrote a piece about her as “the woman in every 12-step programme known to man.” Her takeaway? “Rejection is God’s protection. It’s not the right fit,” and sometimes being overly nice just makes you someone else’s content. Along the way, they break down sponsorship break-ups, being honest about resentful dynamics, and the myth that anyone can be “for everybody”.

They also connect rejection with expectations and serenity, quoting the slogan “high expectations, low serenity” and talking about how keeping expectations in check protects their peace. There’s even a “petty resentment of the week” about school parking spaces, used as a surprisingly useful example of choosing the sober response instead of raging at bad parkers.

If you’re figuring out boundaries in sobriety – at work, in relationships, or in recovery circles – this chat might get you asking where you’re clinging on, and where you’re allowed to say, kindly, “this just isn’t working for me.”