How the Words You Choose Shape the Life You Live | Mark Nepo

How the Words You Choose Shape the Life You Live | Mark Nepo

What drives someone to seek a fuller, more honest life, especially when fear, pain, or addiction have shrunk their world down to a “glass of salty water”? This conversation between Eric Zimmer and poet-teacher Mark Nepo centres on how language shapes our inner experience, and why the words you choose can either soothe your nervous system or pour more salt on your suffering.

Drawing from his book *The Language of the Soul*, Mark talks about that old teaching story of salt in a glass versus salt in a lake. Yes, you can "be like a lake" and grow your capacity – but, as he wryly points out, "we can also just stop putting so much salt in the glass.

And a lot of that salt turns out to be words." If you’re in recovery, you’ll recognise the trap: catastrophising, "always" and "never" thinking, and fearful stories that make pain feel permanent. The chat weaves through Zen practice, AA meetings, and chronic pain, touching on the serenity prayer dilemma: when do you accept life as it is, and when do you act to change it?

Mark shares a simple question he uses in hard times: "Is what's before me life-giving or life-draining?" If it's life-giving, he’s "all in" even when it’s tough; if it’s life-draining, something needs to shift. You’ll also hear a fresh take on being "wholehearted" rather than perfect, the idea that our birthright is thoroughness, not constant happiness, and how repeated readings, rituals, and ordinary moments can become portals into a wider, kinder sense of life.

For anyone dealing with anxiety, pain, or addictive patterns, this episode offers a gentle reminder that changing your language can change the way your difficulties land in you. Ready to ask yourself which wolf your words are feeding today?