How to Discover Yourself, One Decision at a Time | Sara KuburicHow to Discover Yourself, One Decision at a Time | Sara Kuburic
The One You Feed
Dr Sara Kuburic talks with Eric Zimmer about self-loss, freedom, and why responsibility and small daily choices shape who someone becomes. The conversation ties existential ideas to lived experiences of trauma, relationships and addiction in a direct, practical way.
1:00:17•30 Oct 2026
Self-Loss, Freedom and Responsibility with Dr Sara Kuburic
Episode Overview
- Freedom can feel overwhelming, so intentionally chosen structure can ease anxiety while still honouring choice.
- Self-loss arises when repeated inauthentic choices leave you unable to sense who you are or where "home" is within yourself.
- Understanding your past is useful, but change comes from taking responsibility and making different choices now.
- Authenticity means owning your actions and their consequences, not simply doing whatever feels good in the moment.
- Small, meaningful daily decisions reflect your values and gradually build a self and a life you can recognise and respect.
“"The answer to who am I is never verbal. You answer it by the way you live. One small decision at a time."”
Gain insights from experts and survivors on how freedom, responsibility, and tiny daily choices shape a life you actually want to live. This episode of *The One You Feed* centres on existential psychotherapist Dr Sara Kuburic and her journey from surviving wars in Bosnia and Kosovo to breaking down in her twenties while her life looked "perfect" from the outside.
Host Eric Zimmer, a recovering alcoholic and addict, brings his lived experience of structure and choice into the conversation, linking it to Sara’s central idea that "small, meaningful decisions reveal who we are more than big existential questions." Together they chat about how we often hand our freedom over to institutions, family, culture or even addiction, just to avoid the anxiety that comes with having to choose.
Sara talks about "self-loss"—that hollow feeling of looking in the mirror and not recognising yourself—and how it isn’t solved by one big epiphany. As she puts it, "Most of us are hoping for a one-time journey of discovery of who we are.
What we get is a lifetime of responsibility." You’ll hear how her panic attacks and a simple question, "Are you happy?", forced her to face a life built on what she thought she *should* do, rather than what truly mattered to her. A big theme that will resonate with anyone in recovery is the difference between blame and responsibility.
Sara makes a strong case that responsibility and freedom always come together: "For me, I would say responsibility saved my life." Eric adds that recognising our choices, even inside constraints, can be deeply liberating—whether that’s choosing structure in sobriety or choosing how to show up in relationships. If you’ve ever felt lost, stuck in old patterns or scared of making the “wrong” choice, this conversation offers a down-to-earth way to rethink who you are, one decision at a time.
What small choice could you make today that you’d be proud to take responsibility for?
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