How To Love Yourself Again After AddictionHow To Love Yourself Again After Addiction
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks with recovery coach and author Arlena Allen about loving yourself after addiction, from messy rock bottoms to long-term sobriety. They discuss self-esteem, hypnosis, workaholism and practical ways to move from fear and shame into a more joyful, sustainable recovery.
1:10:30•30 Dec 2025
How To Love Yourself Again After Addiction with Arlena Allen
Episode Overview
- Rock bottoms are often messy and repeated, but honest questioning and sober role models can open the door to lasting change.
- Early sobriety brings intense emotions; regular contact with supportive people can teach practical tools for managing feelings and communicating better.
- Many people in recovery slide into workaholism and burnout, using achievement to prove worth instead of creating from joy and inspiration.
- Hypnosis and meditative states can help replace deep-seated limiting beliefs with healthier ones, working from the inside out rather than just willpower.
- Struggling doesn’t mean failure—every attempt adds weight to the positive side of the scale, bringing you closer to a breakthrough in recovery and self-love.
“The truth of the matter is, there’s nothing broken. We just have the wrong systems.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Tim Westbrook and long-time recovery coach Arlena Allen digs into that question with humour, honesty, and plenty of hard-won experience. Across more than three decades sober, Arlena shares how a messy rock bottom, failed attempts at moderation, and two quietly wise clients in sales led her into 12-step recovery.
She talks about the shock of early sobriety, where weed and alcohol disappeared and raw feelings arrived, and how simple actions like phoning women from meetings gave her the emotional support and communication skills she’d never had before. You’ll hear how Arlena turned her own story into service: founding Sober Life School, writing *The 12 Step Guide for Skeptics*, and hosting The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast.
She explains why many high-achieving, "striver" types in corporate life slide from addiction straight into workaholism and burnout, and how shifting from fear-based hustle to love, creativity, and joy can change everything. As she puts it, "There’s nothing broken. We just have the wrong systems." Arlena also breaks down hypnosis and self-esteem work in plain language, showing how relaxed brain states can help replace deep-seated beliefs like "I’m not good enough" with something healthier.
She and Tim swap stories about 12-step myths—like the word "powerless" or God language—that keep people away, and offer practical reframes that are more about freedom than shame. If you’re sober-curious, stuck in relapse, or years into recovery but still driven by guilt and grind, this episode is packed with relatable stories and straight-talking guidance. It asks you to consider: are you running on dirty fuel—or are you ready to build a life powered by something kinder?
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