How To Stay Married (So Far) A Chat About GENTLE PARTNERING Takes an UNEXPECTED TURN for the WORSEHow To Stay Married (So Far) A Chat About GENTLE PARTNERING Takes an UNEXPECTED TURN for the WORSE
How To Stay Married (So Far)
Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley start with a chat about “gentle partnering” and end up in a heated but honest argument about listening, respect and mental health in marriage. Their conversation mixes humour, swearing and vulnerability as they try to work out how to treat each other as kindly as they treat everyone else.
1:03:14•22 Apr 2026
Gentle Partnering, Sharp Words: Nadia & Mark’s Brutally Honest Marriage Chat
Episode Overview
- Gentle partnering means offering your partner the same level of respect and listening you’d give to a friend or your children.
- Long relationships often slide into taking each other for granted, especially around repeat stories and everyday stresses.
- ADHD and bipolar can make communication and patience harder on both sides, and small misunderstandings can quickly escalate.
- Making protected time to talk – without phones, work, or rushing – is suggested as a way to deepen connection, even if it rarely happens.
- Both partners admit they need to be more aware of each other’s vulnerabilities instead of slipping straight into defence mode.
“I just wish you spoke to me as nicely to me as you do to the girls.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying close in a long-term relationship when both are juggling mental health, work, and family life? This candid chat between Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley starts with a light-hearted look at “gentle partnering” and quickly spirals into one of their rawest on‑mic rows yet.
Mark brings in a Guardian piece on “gentle partnering” and “FAFO partners” ("fuck around and find out"), and the pair use it as a springboard to compare gentle parenting with how gently they treat each other.
They laugh about their different upbringings, their very lax bedtimes as parents, and the way they validate their daughters’ emotions, before Nadia lands a line that hits hard: "I just wish you spoke to me as nicely to me as you do to the girls." From there, things get intense. They argue about listening, respect, and how easy it is to dismiss a partner in ways you’d never treat a friend.
Nadia describes feeling rushed, unheard, and embarrassed by her ADHD struggles; Mark talks about bipolar lows, work pressure, and feeling he sacrifices interests like football and deeper chats. Both admit they’re guilty of speeding past each other emotionally, even while trying their best. Despite the fireworks, there’s humour throughout – from swearing about football to teasing Mark about his love of Kafka – and they keep circling back to love, effort and the desire to do better.
By the end, you hear two people who are exhausted, still slightly bristling, but clearly committed. If you’re in recovery, living with someone who has mental health issues, or just trying to keep a long relationship afloat, this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way. Where could you be a little more gentle with your partner today?
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