HOW TO STAY MARRIED (So Far) Nadia’s SHOCKING S*X FANTASY Questions …HOW TO STAY MARRIED (So Far) Nadia’s SHOCKING S*X FANTASY Questions …
How To Stay Married (So Far)
Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley use a film about swinging and sexless marriage as a springboard to talk openly about fantasy, sobriety, jealousy and intimacy in long-term relationships. Their conversation mixes humour with frank reflection on how alcohol, ageing and self-doubt shape sexual connection over time.
38:45•10 Jul 2026
Sex, Sobriety and Swinging: Nadia and Mark Get Brutally Honest
Episode Overview
- Honest sexual conversations in long-term relationships are hard but can reveal where fantasy and desire have been shut down.
- Sobriety may remove the "fuzzy" ease alcohol brings, yet deeper self-acceptance and confidence could rebuild a sense of freedom.
- Sex often suffers when partners compartmentalise it and fail to offer affection and connection throughout the day.
- Jealousy, self-judgement and body insecurity can quietly sabotage intimacy and need to be addressed alongside sexual issues.
- Swinging and open relationships may look exciting, but there is often someone left hurting, so emotional risks must be considered carefully.
“"There's nothing I can do to get a bit fuzzy... anything I've ever done to get fuzzy, I've taken an extremist, it screws us up."”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol while still craving freedom, fun and sexual connection? This chat between Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley heads straight into that awkward but relatable territory where long-term relationships, sex and sobriety collide. Using the film *The Invite* as a springboard, they talk about two very different couples: one stuck in a sexless marriage, the other happily into swinging, foursomes and "she pegs him" level detail.
Nadia sets Mark up with a brutal question – "What turned you on most in this film?" – and his long, nervous pause says everything about how tough honest sexual conversations can be, even in a close marriage. From there, things get deeper.
They chat about how fantasy gets shut down early in relationships, how jokes, jealousy or a careless comment can make a partner pull up the drawbridge on desire, and how sex can become "cordoned off" from everyday affection.
Nadia points out how women often need connection "all day" for intimacy to work at night, while Mark admits he has rarely found anything emotional easy, linking his past drinking to a need to feel "fuzzy" to access the freer version of himself.
Sobriety becomes a key thread: Mark shares sadness and guilt that Nadia can’t just have "a little bit fuzzy" fun because of his alcoholism, while she gently challenges the idea that freedom is only possible with alcohol, suggesting greater self-acceptance and confidence could help. They also tackle ageing, body image, jealousy over past lovers and the messy reality behind swinging and threesomes, repeatedly stressing that someone is often left hurting in open arrangements.
If you’ve ever struggled to talk honestly about sex, fantasy or sobriety with a partner, this raw and funny conversation might nudge you to ask: what are you both too scared to say out loud?
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