How to Treat a Sex AddictHow to Treat a Sex Addict
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook speaks with Dr Marcus Earle about what sex addiction is, why intensive and team‑based therapy can be effective, and how shame, loneliness and isolation fuel the cycle. The conversation also touches on the impact of the pandemic, the role of sober living, and practical first steps for seeking help.
58:12•30 Jun 2020
How Intensive Therapy and Real Connection Help Treat Sex Addiction
Episode Overview
- Sex addiction is framed as a coping strategy born from trauma and loneliness, becoming a problem when it clashes with values, dominates life and is kept secret.
- Intensive programmes with many hours of contact and multiple therapists can push clients beyond surface work and into deeper emotional healing.
- A helpful therapist is grounded, self‑aware, willing to challenge clients, and able to sit with difficult feelings rather than simply aiming to make things comfortable.
- Team‑based treatment and active communication between therapists are presented as critical for consistent, effective care with complex addiction cases.
- Taking the first step by talking honestly to someone – whether in a group, with a therapist, or a trusted person – is emphasised as more important than waiting for the ideal moment.
“"What you hide in therapy are the things that are going to keep you in therapy longer."”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head‑on against addiction? This conversation between host Tim Westbrook and psychologist Dr Marcus Earle gets straight into the gritty reality of sex addiction and what effective treatment actually looks like. You’ll hear sex addiction framed as a way of coping with trauma and loneliness, rather than simply “bad behaviour”.
Dr Earle explains how sexual expression can be diverse and healthy, and how the real problem starts when behaviour clashes with a person’s values, takes over their life, and is hidden from those they care about. The aim isn’t to shame the “addict part”, but to recognise it as a childhood coping strategy that’s now causing harm. A big focus is intensive treatment.
Dr Earle describes the PCS programme’s eight‑day structure with around 65 hours of contact, including 35 hours of individual therapy and multiple group sessions. Clients meet several therapists using different modalities, from cognitive behavioural work to EMDR and somatic approaches, helping them go deeper than once‑a‑week counselling usually allows. As he puts it, fatigue becomes an ally: when you’re too tired to keep fighting the process, you’re more willing to let go and do the hard emotional work.
They also talk about what makes a good therapist: someone grounded, self‑reflective, willing to challenge clients, and able to sit with intense emotion without rushing to “fix” it. Team treatment and therapist communication come across as essential, especially for complex sex addiction cases. The episode tackles how the pandemic has intensified isolation and access to online pornography, and why sober living and recovery housing can be so valuable in providing daily structure, accountability and genuine human connection.
For anyone wondering where to start, the message is simple: talk to someone – a friend, a group, a therapist, a doctor, a clergy person – and stop waiting for the “perfect” moment. Could this be the nudge you’ve been looking for to ask for help?
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