Hugging

Hugging

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when something as simple as a hug feels awkward, risky, or absolutely essential? Sideways regulars Graham Landi and Martin Pankhurst get into that very question with their usual mix of recovery wisdom and daft jokes about woodpeckers, wasps, and band T‑shirts. The chat kicks off with why recovery fellowships like AA can feel “quite huggy”, and how that’s brilliant for some and a deal-breaker for others.

Martin explains research showing that hugging can lift mood, reduce depression, and ease anxiety by boosting oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine, while lowering cortisol and blood pressure. As Graham neatly sums it up, a hug is “a physical manifestation of connection”, and connection is central to addiction recovery. They talk about why hugs in rehab have to be carefully managed.

Residents might get a hug after sharing a life story, but staff won’t hug clients because of ethics, boundaries and the risk of mixed messages. Martin describes watching how long hugs last and how people react, using this as quiet information about relationships and comfort levels. There’s a powerful moment when Martin reflects on his own addiction, saying that in the worst times he felt he “didn’t deserve” a hug, even though he’s a naturally tactile person.

That tension will sound familiar if you’ve ever isolated in your drinking or using days while secretly craving closeness. The pair also touch on cultural shifts: younger men hugging freely, older men sticking to long‑established norms, and the challenge of changing those patterns. Throughout, they keep circling back to consent, context and choice – hugging dogs, trees, or cows is very different from hugging strangers at meetings.

If hugs feel uncomfortable, confusing, or strangely important in your own recovery, this one might get you thinking about who you’re happy to hug – and why.