The IckThe Ick
Sideways
Graham and Martin chat about the dating ‘ick’, sharing funny yet revealing stories about sudden revulsion and what it might say about fear, intimacy and self-worth. Along the way, they link disgust, labels and low self-esteem to addiction and recovery, all wrapped in humour, music trivia and warm friendship.
1:10:31•30 Apr 2026
Sandals, Mustard and the Modern ‘Ick’: What Your Gut Reactions Might Be Telling You
Episode Overview
- The ick is described as a sudden, visceral aversion to someone you were previously attracted to, often triggered by something trivial or absurd.
- Graham suggests the ick may reveal more about a person’s fear of emotional vulnerability and attachment than about their partner’s behaviour.
- They distinguish between reasonable red flags (like rudeness to waiting staff) and genuine icks, which tend to be irrational but powerful.
- Self-directed disgust, or the ‘self‑ick’, is linked to low self-esteem and is common in addiction, where mirrors, clothes and behaviour all feel unbearable.
- Labelling experiences (like ‘addict’ or ‘anxious’) can bring understanding, but clinging too tightly to labels may stop people from growing beyond them.
“What if the ick is not so much about the other person as an indication of something in you?”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? Sideways brings that question into a surprisingly funny chat about “the ick” – that sudden wave of disgust that hits just as a date seemed to be going well. Graham and Martin kick off with a classic “before we start” tangent: a court case where a woman successfully sued a cruise company for over-serving her alcohol, and memories of being “over‑served” in pubs back in their drinking days.
It’s a neat reminder of how responsibility, blame and alcohol get tangled up – a theme that quietly sits behind much of their recovery chat. From there, they move into modern dating and the ick. Graham shares examples that hit close to home, like seeing someone “sitting on a high bar stool with his legs dangling” or chasing a dropped coin.
He admits he once lost all interest in a girl purely because she turned up in Roman sandals, and Martin recalls being instantly put off by “lipstick on her teeth”. It’s funny, but Graham asks whether these moments say more about the other person, or about our own fear of intimacy and vulnerability.
They bring in ideas from psychologist Paul Rozin, who suggests disgust protects the body, and Graham’s suggestion that the ick might be about protecting the “soul” from emotional hurt. They also talk about attachment styles, self-disgust (the “self‑ick”), and how low self-worth in addiction can make every mirror glance feel unbearable.
Light relief comes with their lyric quiz, chat about 80s Caroline roadshows, and a run-through of everyday icks – from chewing with your mouth open to mustard on a hot dog. Beneath the jokes, though, sits a serious question: are you using the ick as a convenient excuse to run, instead of asking what’s really going on inside?
Next time you feel that sudden shudder of revulsion, will you just blame the sandals, or pause and ask what it might be saying about you?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.