How To Stay Married (So Far) The 3 THINGS To NOT SAY During a FIGHT! (Unless You're MARK)How To Stay Married (So Far) The 3 THINGS To NOT SAY During a FIGHT! (Unless You're MARK)
How To Stay Married (So Far)
Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley pick apart three classic fight‑starting phrases, linking them to family patterns, hormones and mental health. Their funny yet blunt chat looks at how certain comments can wound a partner and how couples might handle conflict with more care.
33:15•27 Mar 2026
The 3 Things You Should Never Say in a Fight (Unless You’re Mark)
Episode Overview
- Calling a partner “just like your mother” can feel like an attack on their progress and identity, even if it contains some truth about inherited traits.
- Using “is it that time of the month?” as a way to shut down a woman’s feelings is dismissive and sexist, but quietly understanding cycles can help partners offer better support.
- Comments that compare a partner to an ex, especially around affection or sex, cut deeply and rarely lead to productive change.
- Many unhelpful habits in relationships come from parents and childhood, but noticing them gives a chance to respond differently rather than repeat old patterns.
- Hormonal shifts and mental health dips share similarities; both call for curiosity, softness and genuine care instead of sarcasm or blame.
“Weaponising time of the month is wrong.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction and then tried to stay married through everyday chaos and blazing rows? Here, long‑term couple Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley take their usual unfiltered, funny and occasionally sweary look at arguments, triggers and the things you really shouldn’t say in a fight.
Kicking off from a viral comedy clip titled “3 things you can say during a fight”, they unpack why phrases like “you’re just like your mother”, “is it that time of the month?” and “this wouldn’t have been a problem for my ex” are relationship dynamite.
You’ll hear them laugh at the sketch, then seriously pull it apart – asking whether there’s *ever* a safe way to talk about someone resembling a parent, or to acknowledge hormones without sounding like a sexist idiot.
They move into raw territory around family patterns: the traits they’ve inherited from their mums, how those habits show up in their marriage, and why being told “you’re just like your mother” can feel like being reduced to the worst bits of your upbringing. Mark talks openly about bipolar, ADHD, depression and addiction, while Nadia compares premenstrual tension and menopause to mental health dips, arguing for more kindness and curiosity rather than dismissal.
They also tackle exes: how comments like “my ex never minded this” or “my ex got more affection” land like a punch to the gut, even if they’re blurted out badly rather than meant cruelly. Throughout, there’s constant back‑and‑forth teasing, side‑tracking and dark humour – exactly the sort of messy honesty many couples in recovery or long‑term relationships will recognise.
If you’ve ever said something in a row and instantly wished you could stuff the words back in your mouth, this episode might make you wince, laugh, and rethink your next comeback. What do *you* say in a fight that really doesn’t help – and are you ready to drop it?
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