Julia M. Age 54 Sober since: 09/08 Part I of 2

Julia M. Age 54 Sober since: 09/08 Part I of 2

Interested in the personal battles against addiction? This conversation with Julia M., age 54 and sober since September 2008, traces the messy, often shocking build-up to day one of her recovery. Hosted by Mike S., the chat starts with Julia’s earliest memories of alcohol: sips of beer from her dad, the “sexy and grown up” vibe of house parties, and a spectacular teenage blackout that her family never forgot.

From there, the story shifts to New York in the late ’80s and ’90s, AIDS work, heavy drinking and a growing, untreated depression she assumed was just part of who she was. Julia talks about being able to “drink like the guys”, feeling ugly but smart, and building a high-achieving life that was quietly soaked in booze.

A dry stretch arrives when a partner tells her he doesn’t like how she drinks, and she simply stops – no meetings, no programme, just white-knuckling. Marriage, a flat in Stuyvesant Town, a house upstate and two children follow so fast she jokes she “got married and had kids in a blackout.” When the marriage turns painful, a friend offers “a mama’s little helper” – a Vicodin – and everything changes.

Pill use grows, Craigslist deals escalate, and then a dealer hands her a foil packet of cocaine. “From that first sniff of cocaine that he gave me, I just felt like a rock,” she says. Within three years she has lost custody of her children, her marriage, and almost her sense of being human.

Julia speaks candidly about suicidal thoughts, fake day counting in meetings, supervised visits with her boys, and a chilling late-night moment with a stranger’s car and New Jersey plates that finally pushes her towards asking for real help. If you’ve ever wondered how a seemingly perfect life can crumble so fast, this story might hit uncomfortably close to home – and make you think about what your own ‘day one’ could look like.