Kayosha G. AFG Female

Kayosha G. AFG Female

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety when they’re not the ones drinking, but the ones living with it? This talk from Kiyosha, a grateful member of Alateen, shines a light on what growing up around alcoholism and drug use can do to a child – and how twelve step programmes can help pick up the pieces. You’ll hear her describe a childhood marked by parental substance abuse, physical and sexual abuse, neglect, and repeated foster placements.

She shares vivid memories of going hungry, rationing tiny chocolates as “meals”, and sleeping by the front door to shield her younger sisters from harm. Her brother Richard’s severe health problems, including fetal alcohol effect and multiple surgeries, become a stark reminder of how far-reaching addiction can be. Kiyosha talks openly about the beliefs that grew out of this chaos: thinking she had to be perfect to be loved, sabotaging relationships, lying, and over‑caretaking others while ignoring herself.

The turning point comes as her adoptive family is hit by her dad’s drinking, an OWI, and an affair, pushing her mum into Al‑Anon and Kiyosha towards Al‑Anon and Alateen. There’s plenty here for anyone affected by someone else’s drinking. She explains how Al‑Anon tools, especially the Serenity Prayer and Steps 11 and 12, help her let go, pray for guidance, and stop trying to fix everyone else.

Her realisation that "the only person we can change is ourselves" reshapes how she handles resentments toward her parents, foster carers, and family members. By the end, Kiyosha speaks from a place of gratitude, seeing alcoholism as a disease, accepting her brother’s need for structured care, and embracing the idea that every trial has shaped who she is today.

If you’re supporting someone with addiction or grew up in an alcoholic home, this story might feel uncomfortably familiar – and surprisingly hopeful. What parts of her journey mirror your own?