That's Me! That's Me! episode 31 with Tom W.That's Me! That's Me! episode 31 with Tom W.
Recovery Radio Network
Tom W. shares how a failing marriage, family links to Al-Anon, and a few pointed phrases in AA helped him accept his alcoholism and stay sober. Monica and Julia frame his story with humour, everyday recovery life, and the power of acceptance in long-term sobriety.
42:02•11 Sept 2026
From Failed Marriage to "That’s Me": Tom W. on Finding His Place in AA
Episode Overview
- Emotional pain and a failing marriage pushed Tom to seek help beyond his own attempts to quit drinking.
- A suggestion to "try some controlled drinking" helped him recognise his inability to drink normally and accept alcoholism.
- Family involvement in Al-Anon created a bridge into AA, showing how support networks can spark change.
- The acceptance passage from page 449 of the Big Book became a key tool for shifting focus from others to his own attitudes.
- Building friendships and routines around AA meetings and sober activities, like golf, helped sustain long-term recovery.
“I’ve been sober for three weeks. I don’t think I’m an alcoholic.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This chat with long-time AA member Tom W. drops you right into the raw, early days of his sobriety and the steady, sometimes awkward steps that followed. You’ll hear how Tom’s failed marriage, mounting emotional pain, and a sister in Al-Anon pushed him towards his first AA meeting back in April 1994. His plan at the time?
Show up sober and get people in AA to say he wasn’t really an alcoholic. Instead, he found himself in a room where people “were talking directly at me,” and one brave member announced, “We talk about God here,” which shook him more than he expected. The real turning point comes three weeks later, when Tom tells an old-timer, “I’ve been sober for three weeks. I don’t think I’m an alcoholic.” The man calmly replies, “Well, maybe you’re not.
Why don’t you just try some controlled drinking.” That simple sentence, straight from the AA Big Book, forced Tom to remember every failed attempt at drinking normally and triggered his quiet "that’s me" moment. Alongside his story, Monica and Julia sprinkle in humour, grief, and everyday AA life – from storm-related power cuts and Zoom meetings in parked cars to shared group chats and the comfort of familiar faces at their Saturday "rebellion dog" meeting.
Tom also reads the well-loved passage on acceptance from page 449, explaining how shifting from blame to personal responsibility helped him stop playing the victim and stay sober. If you’re curious about why people keep coming back after that first AA meeting, this conversation offers a grounded look at fear, resistance, and the tiny phrases that change everything. What sentence in recovery has stuck with you the most?
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