That's Me! That's Me! episode 31 with Tom W.That's Me! That's Me! episode 31 with Tom W.
Recovery Radio Network
Tom W. talks about how a failed marriage, daily AA meetings and one pointed suggestion about controlled drinking led him to accept he is an alcoholic. The episode blends humour, grief, and practical recovery tools, with a strong focus on acceptance and sober community.
42:02•4 Sept 2026
Tom W.’s Honest Journey From Denial to Acceptance in AA
Episode Overview
- Daily AA meetings can gradually shift someone from doubt into recognising their alcoholism.
- A simple suggestion to try controlled drinking may highlight past failed attempts and confirm the need for help.
- Building sober friendships and routines, like golf or band practice, helps fill the space alcohol used to occupy.
- Acceptance of people, situations and alcoholism itself can reduce victim thinking and support emotional stability.
- Trying to keep old drinking circles often leads to isolation, while connecting with AA members offers genuine support.
“Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today… I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation with long-time AA member Tom W. gives a very down-to-earth glimpse into that process. The show centres on a simple but powerful question: what makes someone come back after their first AA meeting? Monica Kaye and Julia Jay chat with Tom, who got sober on 3 April 1994, about the messy reality of early recovery.
His drinking started in his teens and eventually contributed to a failed marriage, leaving him in enough emotional pain to reach out to his sister, a long-time Al-Anon member. She linked him with an AA friend, Michelle, who took him to his first meeting. Tom admits he arrived hoping people in AA would tell him he wasn’t alcoholic.
He even introduced himself during the “out of town” announcement just so he could say, “I’m Tom, I’m an alcoholic,” while still not fully believing it. Going to daily meetings for three weeks, he stayed dry but unconvinced, until an old-timer, Jimmy K., calmly suggested he try some “controlled drinking” if he truly thought he wasn’t alcoholic.
That simple suggestion, straight from the Big Book, snapped him into recognising his pattern of failed attempts to control his drinking and became his "that’s me" moment. You’ll also hear lighter touches: Monica and Julia joking about storm-related power cuts, Tom revealing he plays drums in a classic rock band, and his Sunday golf crew made up of other AA members.
The tone stays warm and humorous even while touching on grief, divorce, and the awkwardness of being the only sober person at a party.
Tom closes by reading the famous acceptance passage: “Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today… I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” It’s a fitting anchor for anyone wondering what long-term recovery can look like. Could his mix of honesty, humour and daily meetings be the nudge you need to keep coming back?
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